Shush!

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Lena's POV

After our family reunion in my hospital room, Dr Hillcroft discharged me so I could go home tonight, and I was so very relief because I didn't want to spend the night in here alone. I feel so worn out and weak, but so God damn relief that Stef finally decided to come back home.

I missed her every second of this separation and I admit that I didn't handle it well at all. I let myself slide in a dangerous road, where I couldn't sleep, or eat, or smile, or cry, or anything. It was honestly awful, and I felt so hopeless. I was so scared that Stef would never return and left me for good that I just didn't give a fuck about my health anymore. I saw it coming, kind of, but I didn't do anything to stop it. It's not that I didn't want to... it's just that I didn't know the way to climb my way back...

Now, I know I have to get better. I still feel bad and not okay because I know Stef was just scared but that her anger is still there. However, I saw what this do to our children, especially Mariana and Jude, so I have to get better and fight to keep my marriage alive, and my family together.

Stef told the kids to stay with me while she went to take her things from her mother's apartment and then she'll come back to get me, along with Jude and Callie, while Brandon is driving home with his own car and Mariana.

Stef parked in the driveway and Jude and Callie got out the car to take Stef's things in the house. Stef then turn the car off and look at the house, staring at it. I think coming back here is popping our little bubble we have been in a few hours at the hospital...

"Are you okay?" I ask softly, praying that this wasn't going to end in a fight even before she steps a foot in the house.

"Yeah... yes I'm okay... you?" she says, probably trying to shake off whatever she's feeling as she directs her gaze at me.

"Stef, listen I'm sorry for..." I try to start for I wanted to maybe discuss this now so we can start over, but she cuts me off, putting her hand on mine.

"Lena, we don't have to talk about this now, we can talk about it later. We're definitely not done talking about it, but right now the priority is to get you back on your feet. Your health come first, and I'm telling you, you're going to eat, and I'm going to watch you, you hear me?" she says, getting all passionate about it which is going to drive me nuts because she's going to be on my back all the time now.

"Stef, seriously it's not necessary that you watch me. I'm fully capable of taking care of myself." I say, trying not to be annoyed because at least she's here, and she cares. The problem is that I'm still not hangry, I'm really not and I know I have to eat, I just don't want her to pressure me.

"Lena, you passed out. Do you know that the kids tried to wake you up, and you didn't Lena. It wasn't just a too low sugar situation; this is serious Lena. Now don't fight with me because you're tired and you need rest, and I'm not tired which mean that I can fight you all night about it, and you know it." she says and, as annoyed as I am with her right now, I can't help but smile. I sigh, but I'm smiling and that didn't happen for a long time.

"Even though you're annoying, I'm glad you are here." I say, squeezing her soft hand, finally able to make her smile again as well.

"Let's get inside. I'll help you." she says, unbuckling her seatbelt.

"Stef, I'm not..."

"Shush!" she says as she almost ran to come and open the door for me, to take my hand, helping me out of the car, and supporting my weak body on the way to the front door. I can't say that it doesn't feel good to have her taking care of me like this. I'm getting my affectionate Stef to myself, and a part of me, almost don't want to get better so she would just continue to be like this with me until she even forgets her anger. However, I know that this is just temporary and that it won't last long...


Stef's POV

That night I tried to make Lena eat dinner and it didn't quite go the way I wanted. She barely ate anything, and I literally had to negotiate with her so she would eat a yogurt or a fruit or something. I've honestly never saw her like this. She's usually a foody, something that I like a lot about her, and to see her struggle to just eat a piece of chicken is throwing me for a loop big time. And I know that I really have to watch her no matter how materializing that sound.

For tonight I decided to not put up a fight since she's still very tired and she had some vitamins and nutriment at the hospital. However, the next days, I will not be so passive. I know I can't literally force her, but I'll insist no matter how she's going to hate that. I'll try to be as gentle as possible though. I know being too forceful about food is the best way to not give the person the desire to eat.

So after we took our shower, and since we don't have a guest room, I had no choice but to sleep in bed with her. I honestly want to sleep next to her, but my pride is pissed that I have to because I'm still not over her cheating on me. Not at all.

I turn my bedside lamp off, before sliding further under the sheets.

"Good night." I say, turning my back to her as she was almost under the covert.

"Good night, babe." She says.

After a few minutes, as I was trying to find it in me to close my eyes, I felt Lena moving, getting closer to me and then sliding her arm around my belly and that alone made me hot, and I hate it because I don't want her to have this effect on me right now, but she does, she always did and as much as I always loved it, right this moment, I really don't.

"Lena... Lena no, I..." I try to say as I turn to look at her, helped by the moonlight.

"Baby please. Just for tonight, hum? Tomorrow night I'll leave you alone, I promise, but I... I just really need you, just tonight... please..." she literally begs as I can feel myself melt at her soft and vulnerable voice and I sigh deeply, frustrated as hell that I can't say no because a part of me just want to feel her in my arms as well.

"Okay... okay." I sigh again as she immediately put her arm around me again, burying her face in my neck, breathing me in softly as I can't help but put my arms around her slim body to pull her even closer.

"I love you Stef... you don't have to say it back, but I... I just love you." she whispers as I feel her tears wetting my skin a little and I can't, for the life of me say it back. I want to because I love her to death, but she hurt me so bad... I can't say it back yet, so instead I just stroke her soft curls as her grip tighten around me and with that, we both drift off to sleep pretty quickly. 

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