Too Far Gone?

the cemetery

Chapter 21

Emma's POV

Last night could've gone better. When I woke up this morning I felt drained emotionally. It's not often I cry, let alone get upset in that kind of way. I get angry a lot, but other than that I'm usually feeling content or I try to be. I was shocked to see Ashton, but in the end was grateful to talk to someone about it. It's been a while since I've talked about Jet, let alone thought about everything that happened. Obviously I miss him more than anything else in the world, but it's better for my mental health if I don't dwell too much on the past.

Today is Tuesday and Thursday is the 4th of July. The 4th of July is typically one of my favorite holidays mostly for the symbolism behind the day, but also because of the memories I have from it. Before my mother passed we spent every 4th of July outside enjoying the fireworks, spending time with family, and celebrating our true independence including the dedication my mother gave towards our country. After she died, my father and I would take the time to visit her grave, leaving red white and blue roses on her grave before going out together to watch fireworks. It wasn't quite what it was, but I was still grateful for the day. Any day that we spent celebrating my mom was a day to be grateful for.

So I currently have no plans for the holiday besides visiting from mother's grave to leave flowers like we used to. Other than that I've thought about finding somewhere to watch the fireworks, but I think I'm just going to take it by year and see how I'm feeling about it. Daniel told me last night, after I told him about the events of the night leaving out my moment in the tree because I didn't think it held any purpose to discuss it, that him and my other friends were going to watch the firework show in downtown Palm Springs. I'm envious to say the least, I wish we could spend the holiday together but they have a mission due the next day so they couldn't come to visit unfortunately.

I just showered from my session at the dance studio this morning when a knock sounds on my door. Quickly pulling on gym shorts and a light sweater, I run out to my door when the visitor knocks again. I'm shocked to say the least when I swing the door open and see Axel standing on the other side. His brown eyes scan me from head to toe, looking somewhat startled by my appearance. I raise in eyebrow, curious as to why he's here.

"Hey, can I come in?" He finally gives me a proper greeting, shoving his hands in his dark blue jeans. I step to the side holding the door, gesturing for him to come in. He makes his way through the doorway after a slight hesitation and heads toward the single chair next to my couch to sit down. I follow behind him shortly, sitting down on the couch near him. My eyes watch him closely, trying to find any hint as to what he's up to. He looks anxious, leaned over with his elbows on his knees his fingers intertwined. It almost looks like he's trying to figure out how to say what he wants to say. He takes a deep breath before meeting my gaze once more. "I'm sorry about last night."

Just the mention of last night makes me roll my eyes. As I mentioned before, I don't like to dwell in the past. "Don't worry about it. I'm fine, my relationship with my father isn't what it used to be as we all know."

"Yeah I know, I just felt like I could've done more to make the night go smoother," he responds, holding my gaze. His brown eyes are dark with sadness, at what exactly I'm not sure. He better not be pitying me because we all know how much I hate that. I don't respond to what he said, simply because I don't want to discuss the matter anymore. When he notices my obvious ignorance he breaks eye contact. We sit in silence a moment longer before he says whatever else is on his mind. "Do you have any plans for the 4th?"