Mío

Treinta y dos

Kaleb's

"About the black market, I intend to put every person that's behind it to rot in jail, every one of them." Panimula ko. Hans looked at me for a second before signaling me to continue.

"Oceanna's father is one of the benefactors behind it, that's why no matter what, the law can't seem to capture them. I am helping the law and the government to put all of them in jail, Hans. It's dangerous, but we're so close to successfully doing it." Lumapit ako sakanya and I knelt in front of him. Nakaupo siya sa gilid ng kama at nakadekwatro pa habang ang mga kamay niya ay nakapatong sa tuhod niya. Humawak rin ako sa tuhod niya at tumingala sa mukha niyang hindi ko mawari ang iniisip. His cerulean blue eyes are looking at me with thick facade.

He used to be so easy to read.

"That's why I am using Oceanna to track his father's whereabouts, I can't just leave her, pumpkin. She's one of the big evidence we have to put her father in jail. I am with her not because I like her or what, it's for pure convenient." Patuloy kong paliwanag ngunit hindi nagbago ang walang emosyon niyang mukha. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa tuhod niya bago ko inabot ang mga kamay niya.

"Please, pumpkin. I don't want you to be in danger, after all of this is done, we can be together agai-"

"You think that's so easy? Am I that accessible?" Pinutol niya ang sasabihin ko. I stared at him and he now looks sad and upset. Napalunok ako.

"I understand how important your goals are, I won't be meddling in your way. Let's not be in the way of each other's goal." Sabi niya at tumayo mula sa pagkakaupo. Naiwan akong nakaluhod at naguguluhan sa sinasabi niya. Fuck.

“Pumpkin, please, what is it that you want me to do? Do you want me to drop everything so we can be together?” Nanghihina kong tanong bago tumayo at sinundan siya ng tingin. I feel so frustrated. Masyadong komplikado ang lahat para iwanan ko na lang at sumama kay Hans. That's not how it will work. This is not how I planned it. We will not be happy if I drop everything right now. It will be dangerous for us.

“I dropped everything, including my affection for you. Including my fucking sanity so you can achieve your goal. To be a Governor..” Humarap siya saakin habang sinasabi iyon. I looked at him with frustrations but I understand what he's trying to say. “I thought this will all end once you're already the Governor, Kaleb. Because that's all I can give up for this relationship that's seems to be impossible to work anymore.” Umiling-iling ako sa sinasabi niya at muli akong lumapit para hawakan ang mga kamay niya. Napalunok pa ako nang maramdamang nanlalamig iyon.

“Pumpkin, please hear me out. Malapit na, sobrang lapit na matapos ang lahat and we can be together without thinking of anything but us. Please, help me with this one, I can't lose you again.” Pakiusap ko. I understand that he's done with all of the things I choose over him. But I need to do it or no one else will.

“I can't help you, Kaleb. I can't even help myself.” Sabi niya at hindi ko alam ang isasagot ko. I don't even know that struggles he's going through right now. We're like strangers trying to be together so bad. I fucked up so bad.

“I am here, I will help you, let's help each other. I just need you beside me. Don't leave me again, pumpkin.” Pakiusap ko at nakita ko ang paglunok niya bago binawi ang mga kamay niyang hawak ko. Muli siyang tumalikod saakin at humangos nang malalim.

“I don't want a help from a man who's engaged to a bitch I hate.” Muli niyang sabi. Humangos ako at hinilot ang noo sa sobrang pagtatalo ng puso at isip ko ngayon.

The biggest part of my heart wants to do whatever Hans want, but a part of my brain knows I have to finish what I started.

“Pumpkin, I am almost finished with my plan. I am winning, I'm already just steps away from the finish line—” Hindi niya ako pinatapos at lumingon siya saakin nang matalas ang mga mata bago galit na lumapit muli saakin.