Mío

Veintisiete

Hans

“Hans, hey, wake up..” Nagising ako sa mahinang haplos sa pisnge ko. I looked at the person in front of me before sitting up.

“When did you arrived?” Tanong ko kay kuya Oasis. Umupo naman siya sa tabi ko bago sumagot.

“Earlier this morning, dumeretso ako sa bahay. Na-miss ako nila mamu 'e. I bought foods, dad cooked it for you.” Mahina niyang sabi bago ilabas ang mga foods na nasa loob ng dalawang paper bag na dala niya. I just watched him prepare my food with lots of things in my mind.

Everytime I get so mad, I feel so exhausted afterwards. Nauubusan ako lagi ng lakas na parang may sakit ako sa tuwing nagagalit at nasasaktan ako nang sobra. It's not healthy but I couldn't help being mad when I talked to Kaleb and his fiance arrived.

I felt so inferior against his fiance. Dahil siguro may mas karapatan ang babaeng iyon sakanya kaya iyon pa rin ang nararamdaman ko hanggang ngayon.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Kuya Oasis asked before handing me a cup of porridge. “Eto muna, mamaya na ang solid foods.” He said.

“Kuya, what do you think is wrong with me?” Tanong ko habang tinitingnan ang porridge na ibinigay niya saakin. Hinawakan ko ang kutsara at hinalo ang mainit na porridge.

“Nothing is wrong with you, Hans. Why are you asking something like this? Is it some bashers? You are the most perfect model I've ever seen.” Mahabang sabi niya. I smiled slightly while still stirring the porridge and staring at it so hard.

“I became famous because of how I look, kuya. My fans always adores me despite some of my bad behaviors, every person I met always do what I want because of how I look. Even with all of that, the only man who really knows me was Kaleb, but why is it that I feel like I am always not enough for him to choose over that woman? Over his endless pssreasons.” Litanya ko at natahimik naman siya. Tinikman ko ang porridge at kahit mainit pa iyon at pinapaso ang dila ko ay hindi ko iyon alintana. Ilang subo pa ang ginawa ko bago napansin ni kuya Oasis ang ginagawa ko.

“Hans! Fuck, it's burning hot!” Binawi ni kuya Oasis ang tasa na ibinigay niya saakin bago napapabuntong-hiningang nagsalita.

“Is this why you came back here? Hans, please, stop ruining your life because of that man. You don't deserve it.” Sabi niya at umiling naman ako.

“Yeah, I am done offering my life to him. But it still hurts, kuya. I still wonder why is it that when that woman came, dati na nga akong palaging pangalawa sa lahat dahil sa mga responsibilities niya, mas lalo pa akong naging pangalawa dahil sa babaeng iyon. When she came, it was all ruined.” Mahaba kong sabi.

“Calm down. Maybe he has reasons, Kaleb had chose you over and over again before, didn't he?” Kuya Oasis said. Napatingin naman ako sakanya.

“That's the most painful part, sinanay niya akong gagawin niya ang lahat para saakin, sinanay niya akong pagkatapos ng lahat ng responsibilidad niya, saakin siya u-uwi. But in the end, it's still hundred reasons over me.” Natatawa kong sabi kahit sa loob-loob ko ay ang sama ng loob ko sa ginagawa ni Kaleb.

I know I had my fair share of ruining our relationship because I left, but in my defense, his father and him are in danger and I couldn't risk it. Naging mahina rin ako na may ibang babae sa buhay niya. But I have the right to, right? I was naive, I was scared for his life.

Anong magagawa ko? Hindi ko kinaya ang lahat.

“It's been three years, Hans. We can't go back to how it was before. Besides, pababa na rin si Kaleb sa posisyon niya ngayong taon, maybe the two of you could work it out after that?” He said and I scoffed.