Freaking Out

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Freaking Out

When I go to visit

It’s almost like I can feel it

Feel something’s wrong

Perhaps

Twins do have some sort of telepathy

I leave the elevator quickly

Make it to the door

The door that holds you

And every other patient

I get access like I always do

When I walk in with mom and dad

There you are

Behind a glass door

Screaming your head off

As one of the orderlies tries to keep you still

Your legs kick out

You try your hardest to escape

I watch in frightened fascination

Mom and dad try to drag me out

Almost like what the orderly is doing to you

You see me

You stop moving

It’s like a deer caught in the headlights

“Rose!”

It’s the first thing I’ve heard you say in weeks

Maybe months

You struggle again

Probably trying to get to my side

The orderly drags you out

I can hear you shouting my name

Mom and dad lead me away

I cover my ears with my hands

I don’t want to hear your shouting

I don’t let go of my head

Not until I’m home

In my room

The door closed

Utterly alone

Finally I let go

And with my hands

Everything inside lets loose

The insanity of it all

I can’t take it much longer

Today is a very bad day

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