Harry found himself sitting in his dormitory, alone.
Knowing it could very likely be the last time he would be back here, he tried to soak it in. He tried to remember the way the sheets fell on his skin, how bright the sun shined on his face in the early mornings, and the sounds of chatter in the common room in the Gryffindor Tower, echoing through the door.
He thought of all the late nights he had in the dormitory with his mates or early morning quidditch practices. The feeling of flying through the sky, almost as if it can lift off the pressure of the world even if it was for a second.
Harry was never going to be ready to leave Hogwarts. Not in a week, not in a month, not even in a year. It was the closest thing he had to a home, somewhere that connected him to his family. And now, if it wasn't for his friends, Harry would feel utterly lost in this world.
As he reached for the diary, Harry couldn't help but wonder if this was how his parents felt during the first war.
Afraid? Lost? Defeated? As if the whole world was collapsing onto their shoulders, willing them to give in?
No, Harry thought. You cannot give up. Make their sacrifices worth it, for all of them.
Harry pushed against his thoughts, opening the diary only to feel his breath leave him as he read the date in the paper.
December 24, 1978.
Her last entry.
-
December 24, 1978
Dear Diary,
Is it okay to feel like this: afraid? As if there is a lingering shadow, waiting for me in the corner. Reminding me that my time is near when all I've ever wanted was more time.
If I must go, I wish it could have been in his arms. I would hug him tighter, tell him I'm sorry that I wasn't brave enough from the start. Maybe we could have figured out another way, another solution that didn't involve the inevitable.
But deep down I know we wouldn't find it today, and today is all I have.
I would do it all over again, if I had to. I would crawl to the depths of the hell if it would give him one more chance in surviving this war.
But that doesn't make it any easier. If anything, it makes it much, much harder.
A.B.
-
Harry was not accustomed to what a traditional pureblood society looked like. The closest he had seen was how the pureblood students dressed during the Yule Ball, with many gowns looking like they cost more money than the Dursley's house.
Harry watched as Astrid stood in front of the mirror, staring back at her reflections as she finished her final touches. She wore a black ballgown, with a fastened corset which was embedded with jewels across. Her skirt was double layered, with the bottom later painted a solid black while the top layer was decorated with bright sparkles, almost dancing across the fabric and forming constellations.
She seemed stiff and uncomfortable as she tugged on the fabric and kept her neck high and straight, not breaking her gaze from her gown as she tried to strip every imperfection away.
Astrid finished putting on her earrings as she heard a soft knock on the door, look into the reflection of the mirror as Harry turned around to see his father leaning against the door frame of the bedroom.
"You know, I've never been one for pureblood tradition and balls," explained James as he approached her wrapped his arms around her waist, and pulled her back into his chest. "But I'd host every ball of the season if I could see you dressed like this more often.'
He tightened his arms around her waist as they faced the mirror, pressing his face into the side of yours as he gave her a soft kiss on the neck.
Harry couldn't help but wrinkle his nose. Yuck.
"Forever the charmer, James," chuckled Astrid as she rolled her eyes and turned to face him.
"Are you sure you have to go?" James complained, teasing eyes as he looked her up and down, admiring her. "We can stay here, sip tea by the fireplace, maybe even go star gazing outside. I wouldn't mind taking you on a midnight lift through the city."
Astrid rolled her eyes playfully "I wouldn't be caught dead on that broom after last time," she exclaimed as she chuckled. "Besides, aren't you spending the night with the boys before Christmas day?"
"I'm sure I can make up an excuse," He shrugged casually, with his classic troublemaker smirk, before smiling softly as he looked at her lovingly with his soft, hazel eyes. "I'd do anything to spend the rest of my days by your side."
A sad look flashed across her eyes, causing Astrid to look away briefly before looking back at him to cover up the slight crack in her wall.
"Well, when it's all over, we can spend the rest of our lives together, including every Christmas Eve. I promise"
Not noticing her underlying tone, James smiled softly. "I can't imagine anything better."
Astrid pulled him into a hug, looking up to blink away her glassy eyes as James tightened his arms around her waist, swaying softly as he rested his head into the crook of her neck and closed his eyes slowly.
They only stayed like that for a minute, before a quiet but stern knock was heard at the door. Astrid stiffened slightly, glanced up to look at her doorway and slightly pulled away.
"That must be Regulus," she explained, looking back at James with a small smile. "You better hurry along to the boy's house, who knows what havoc they have already managed to cause within your absence."
James chuckled softly, pulling away from the hug as well while keeping his arms wrapped around her waist. "You're probably right, I don't know what we would do if we didn't have Tilly to put us in check. Remus likes to act like the responsible one, but we all know he is just as bad, if not worse, than us."
"I don't know how she does it either, helping raise you for all those years," chuckling softly but placing a hand at the side of his face. "But she did a good job."
James smiled softly, before leaning in to give her a soft, but meaningful kiss goodbye before pulling away.
"Happy Christmas, Astrid, I will see you tomorrow bright and early. Oh! I will even bring some of Tilly's famous cookies, I'm sure you'll love them."
Astrid smile broke slightly as she watched him retreat to the back door before appearing to his flat.
"Happy Christmas, James"
As they heard the pop of his apparition, Harry watched as her shoulders fell and her face became grim as she walked towards the front door.
She opened the door, softly nodding her head in greeting. "Reggie, right on schedule."
Regulus walked in, side-kissing his sister's cheek in greeting as he stepped into the cottage.
"As if I am ever anything but, sister."
Harry observed Regulus, noting his traditional pureblood attire along with his tense shoulders and stiff expression.
"I am assuming all is prepared," Astrid asked as she flicked her wand, cleaning up the last of her mess on the table from when she was getting ready moments before James appeared.
"Yes, we should be all set after the clock strikes twelve."
A tense silence fell between the siblings before Astrid straightened herself and painted the signature Black family expression over her face: cold, dark, powerful.
"Well then, I guess we have a ball to attend."
YOU ARE READING
Keep Breathing ♢ James Potter
Fanfiction"I want you to understand something, Harry...James loved Lily. He truly did love you and your mother. But what Astrid and James had was more than just love. It was all things above love. It was a sacrifice. It was putting each other first. It was m...
