Keep Breathing ♢ James Potter

29 | Entry 19 - Not Letting You Go

October 7, 1997

Dear Diary,

How can I be so careless? I keep replaying that moment in my head. The yelling, the arguing, the look of horror and disappointment that fell onto his face. He wasn't supposed to find out like this. I would have rather him not find out at all. But it seems like life never goes as planned.

James has been quiet. He isn't talking to the Marauders as much during meals. He isn't teasing McGonagall with Sirius during class anymore. He isn't his mischievous, Gryffindor self. Everyone has noticed his silence, especially Regulus.

After I told Regulus what happened, the boy became extra paranoid. He hasn't wanted to leave my side, consistently wanting to walk me to class or sit beside me during mealtimes. Regulus believes that James will likely tell Sirius or even one of the Professors. He is worried that if word gets out, they will drag me to Azkaban, no trial necessary.

I'm not quite sure though. Would he? I mean, it is obvious what side of the war James is on. He could simply tell one of the professors, and I'll be taken away for good. One less death eater they would have to deal with. Even if was someone that maybe, just maybe, he cared about.

A.B.

-

The scene opened to Astrid sitting with Regulus at the Slytherin table during breakfast. The two were surrounded by other known Deatheaters from Harry's time, the same that accompanied them on the train ride to Hogwarts.

Along with Astrid and Regulus was Ember, Astrid's best friend. Harry noticed that ever since the death of their best friend, Kai, the girl has looked horrid. Her eyes were dim, almost as if there was no life in him. She kept quiet, picking at her food avoiding conversation. Harry noticed the presence of Andrew Nott beside her.

Ember was uncomfortable with Slytherin's presence, as he continuously tried to inch towards her and almost invade her personal space. It also seemed as if Harry wasn't the only one who noticed.

"Ember," called out Astrid beside her, drawing her attention away from Nott and onto her. "We should go get started on our Potions essay for Professor Slughorn. We can go before dinner if you want."

Ember's eyes light up slightly, but right before she could agree, Nott interrupted the conversation.

"I've already planned to hang out with Ember before dinner tonight," Nott interrupted smugly. His tone left no room for debate, but Astrid was not going to let a measly Slytherin boy try to tell her what to do.

"Well, I'm sure you can reschedule for that another day, seeing that our essay is more important than your playdate." Said Astrid, as a matter of fact. "I would offer for you to join us, but you didn't quite qualify to be a part of Newt level Potions. Isn't that right, Nott?"

It was obvious that Astrid was not being polite, with her sarcastic smile and sharp tone. Regulus coughed, choking on his pumpkin juice as he urged himself not to burst out laughing at his sister's obvious protectiveness.

Nott didn't have time to reply, as owls started to fill the room starting to fill. Letters dropped onto the four tables, students reaching out and opening to read their letters from their families.

Astrid and Regulus had both received a letter from their parents. As Regulus started to read his letter from his parents, Astrid paid attention to the second letter that had been dropped onto her plate by another owl. She hesitantly turned the envelope around, opening it and recognizing the handwriting.

Automatically, the girl hid the letter from view and stuffed it into her bag of Hogwarts books. Regulus shifted his eyes from his parent's letter, noticing her quick movements before whispering to her so the others wouldn't hear.