Keep Breathing ♢ James Potter

21 | Entry 12 - Returning to Hogwarts

Once Harry arrived at the Burrow for the holiday break, he had decided that he would catch up and read a lot more in Astrid's diary while he can. It was getting more and more difficult to try and find time to sneak out of the Gryffindor tower, so he wanted to use the holiday to his advantage.

When everyone (including Ron) went to sleep, Harry pulled out the journal and began to read the next entry.

-

January 3, 1977

Dear Diary,

The holiday break ended, and I have never been so glad to go back to Hogwarts. There has been tension in the house ever since the Christmas Eve ball. I felt as if I was suffocating every time I was stuck in a room with my mother. The only thing that was able to keep me grounded was Regulus. He is my anchor.

Potter tried to come up to me on the train, but I quickly dismissed him before rushing off. I don't want to talk to him, especially since I know how close he was to my brother. I don't know what I was thinking, trying to be friends with him. We are from two different worlds, that's just the way things are.

A.B.

-

Astrid walked alongside Regulus, behind their parents, as they walked through Platform 9 3/4s. There was tension around them, almost like a cloud hovering over them as they walked. Their parents threw harsh glares at everyone as they walked by, while Astrid and Regulus kept their heads down to avoid the stares of others.

Once they stopped, Walburga turned to them. "I expect you all to do well in your studies and send us letters to keep us updated." It was obvious that the last part was directed towards Astrid, who was trying to avoid eye contact with her mother.

"Of course, mother," interrupted Regulus as a way to take the attention off his sister.

As the two said goodbye to their mothers, Harry noticed two boys who were watching them from a distance.

Sirius was looking at his family. His eyes were mixed with emotions. They were filled with pain and longing but also overpowered with disgust and hatred. It was evident that he cared, but Sirius refused to show it.

James was looking at Astrid as she stood in front of her parents. His eyes traced her up and down, almost as if he was looking for something, an answer. But the boys were soon interrupted by the adults accompanying the boys, who Harry guessed were his grandparents. He watched as the man and women hugged Sirius and James as they said bye before the two boys hopped onto the train.

"Goodbye, mother, father," said Astrid, bringing Harry's attention once again back to the Black family. He followed the siblings as they carried their trunks onto the train and look for a compartment.

Regulus hugged his sister before going off to sit with his friends while Astrid went to find Ember and Kai. As Harry followed Astrid, he noticed his father who had come out of his compartment.

The compartment was the same one that Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat every year when they went to Hogwarts. It was also the same compartment that Harry had discovered the carved initials in the wall.

James had shut the door behind him, looking as if he had come up with an excuse to escape Sirius for a second, before heading towards Astrid.

"Hey," greeted James as he saw her.

"Uh," hesitated Astrid as she looked around, "Hello Potter."

"I hope you had a, uh-, a great holiday," stumbled James as he scratched the back of his neck. "I sent you a letter, but I never got a reply back."

Astrid's eyes shifted from the hallway to James as she tried to find an excuse for not replying. "Yeah, sorry I was really busy during the Holidays. But, uh, I have to go find Ember and Kai. I'll see you in DADA."

With that, Astrid rushed off, leaving James standing alone in the compartment. Harry watched as his father looked at Astrid. James looked as if he was about to call her back before he merely shook his head and headed back to his compartment.

The memory quickly changed after both Astrid and James were out of sight. This time, Harry found himself back in the Room of Requirement with Astrid. She was stumbling around the room, pulling out different books on the shelves to read and write notes on.

Once James had walked into the room, Astrid quickly shut her books and put away her work. "Hey," greeted Astrid awkwardly.

"Hi," replied James as he watched Astrid put away her books and parchment. "Are those notes for class?"

"No," said Astrid quickly as she closed her bag and looked at him. "Just some homework for Transfiguration."

James walked next to the girl and took a seat next to her. "Alright, well do you want to go over some stuff we learned last class, and then maybe we can practice?"

"Sure"

During the study session, it was evident how Astrid was not in the right headspace for studying. She would blank out as she and James went over last class notes, making James have to call her attention every so often.

She was also having a bit more difficulty blocking off James's spells as they practiced. James had disarmed her several times, something that usually never happened.

Astrid was visibly worn out, something that was not only noticeable to Harry but James as well. With every time Astrid would doze off or struggle to deflect a spell, James's eyes filled with concern.

Once their study session had ended, James finally asked the question that he had been wanting to ask all day.

"Are you alright, Astrid?"

Astrid was caught off guard as she turned to look at him before she continued to pack up her things and avoid his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm alright Potter."

"Are you sure? It's just," hesitated James as he continued, "you seem a bit off, you know. Since you came back from the holidays."

Astrid looked up at James with a small smile and didn't reach her eyes. "Yes, I am sure. I'm just tired, the holidays were exhausting."

The girl didn't give him the chance to ask any other questions before tossing her bag over her shoulder. "I'll see you in class, James."

With that, Astrid walked out of the room, leaving Harry and James alone in the Room of Requirement. Once she had left, Harry watched his dad pull out the Marauders Map and open it.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

Harry watched as the map appeared, looking just like it did whenever he opened it. James looked through the map until he spotted what he was looking for. His fingers traced Astrid as she walked from the 7th floor to the Slytherin common room.

Once Astrid had made it safely to her dorm with no issues, James closed to map before putting it in his pocket and throwing his invisibility cloak over. Harry watched as his father left the Room of Requirement, ending the memory.