My Mcfamily, my Mclife

20.

Derek.

Meredith's in the ICU at the moment. She had to have surgery on her veins when she cut one of them.

I talked to her a bit before the morphine started kicking in and she fell asleep.

She said that she didn't try killing herself. She said she wanted to die but she was never going to do something like that because she was pregnant and had the kids.

She said it was an accident. She was just going to cut herself but she accidentally went too deep and there was so much blood.

She tried stopping it but there was too much and then she started to get lightheaded and then fainted.

I believe her, I don't believe she would ever leave the kids, especially like that. She hides her pain for the kids, she watched her mother slit her wrists she would never make them grow up knowing their mother killed herself.

She said it herself she didn't know why she felt the way she did. She just did, the feeling went away when I came back from D.C. and she thought it was just that but then it came back.

She didn't want to say anything because she didn't know what to tell me.

I told her she needed to see her old therapist again when she was recovered and she agreed, she didn't want to accidentally kill herself.

The baby was thankfully fine but it did lose a little bit of blood but it was all fine once Meredith got a blood transfusion.

~ Three years later ~

Meredith.

It's been three years since the accident. I've been seeing Dr. Wyatt ever since.

The cutting stopped about four months after seeing her. I only did it when something big happened but I no longer do it at all.

We ended up having a little girl named Sophie. She the perfect mix of Derek and I.

She has shoulder-length blonde curls with bright blue eyes. Zolas ten, Bailey is eight, and Ellis is four.

Sophie just turned three the other day and surprisingly I've noticed a difference in her.

She is more mature, well as mature as a three-year-old can be.

One thing she got for her birthday was a new bed. She recently started climbing out of her crib and running into our room whilst we were asleep and just slept in our bed without us really knowing until the next morning.

It wasn't too bad until she did it on a night after we had sex and we were both naked underneath.

It's safe it say she saw me but thankfully I woke up from her moving around so much she didn't have time to see Derek.

That's when we started locking her door once she fell asleep. We still had a baby monitor in there in case she woke up or something happened but she couldn't keep coming into our room at night.

She was excited at first until she realized it wasn't for jumping in and she had to actually sleep in there throughout the night.

She would wake us up crying through the monitor and one of us would have to check on her, read her stories, get her a glass of water, take her to the bathroom and calm her down before she went back to bed.

Derek just came back from dropping the kids off at school.

I have the day off because I had a patient that I got too close to and ended up not making it and my therapist doesn't really trust me to continue working. After all, she's scared are push it down and it'll end badly.

Derek decided he would take the day off and stay home with me to make sure nothing happened.

Ever since my accident three years ago Derek's always been scared to leave me home alone.

He's always worried about me, if I'm just a little bit upset or he sees that I've been crying he gets all overprotective.

He's scared that I might try something but I don't have those feelings anymore ever since I started taking antidepressants.

We tried just therapy but even after the cutting stopped I was still having all the same feelings so my therapist gave me a prescription and after a couple of weeks I felt much better.

I've never missed a day of taking them, I'm too scared not to take them. I never want to go back to feeling the way I did, especially now with four kids.

When I notice my prescription is about to run out I get a refill before it does just to be safe.

I don't think the patient affected me that much. I still cried over her death and I'll see every child that comes into the hospital differently now but I don't think it's that big of a deal.

Derek does and my therapist does and Richard agrees so I'll be taking the next three days off as well.

Derek's going to be watching me for the next three days like a hawk and asking me if I'm okay a hundred times a day but I think it'll be nice to take some time off.
Work has been pretty hectic lately.

He sits down next to me on the couch as I'm watching a movie. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close.

"How are you feeling today?" He says softly kissing my cheek.

"I feel okay. I've been better," I say. "Have you eaten?" He asks. "No, I wasn't really hungry this morning," I say.

"You should eat something soon so you're not going off an empty stomach," he says.

"I know, I will eat something. Don't worry," I say. I press my lips softly against his before laying my head against his chest.

~ The End ~

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I've wanted to end this story for some time now. I've worked on it for three years and have only gotten as far as 20 chapters so I wanted to make sure it had a happy ending. I hope you enjoyed!