My Mcfamily, my Mclife

19.

Derek.

Meredith hasn't been doing to tell lately. It's been a couple of weeks and things have only gotten worse.

I assume something must have triggered her into cutting herself again but I don't know what and she won't tell me.

She hardly even talks to me at all and if she does speak to me it's about work or the kids.

I never see her arms, she won't let me touch her even if it's just to hold her in the middle of the night, she won't even let me place my hand on hers, and she covers her entire body with clothing except for her face.

I don't know how to help her, she won't tell me what's wrong and she won't seek help elsewhere.

The kids have noticed that she's different but they don't know how bad it's gotten, they don't know the full extent.

She's about five, almost six months pregnant. She doesn't look six months pregnant, she's barely showing.

She doesn't eat much, she only eats enough so the baby's healthy but she doesn't eat for herself.

She only takes care of the kids and works and when she's at home she sleeps a lot. I thought it was just the pregnancy but it seems more than that.

I don't want her to get postpartum depression after the baby's born and everything will become even worse.

I tried taking her to see a shrink but as soon as he started asking her personal questions she got upset and left.

Meredith decided to stay home from work today. She said she was exhausted and in pain.

As she becomes more far along her pregnancy becomes worse.

All the kids are at school so she can just rest.

I decided to finish my shift early so I could go home and check on Meredith and make sure she was doing okay.

When I go inside the house I notice it doesn't look like Meredith's been out of l bed.

I go into the bedroom and see it's empty the bed is undone. I see the bathroom door is open.

I go into the bathroom and find the tub water still running.

I look at the other side of the room and find the sink still running.

I see Meredith on the floor with a pool of blood next to her.

"Meredith!" I run to her side and grab her wrist. I find the source of the bleeding and squeeze the wound.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and dial 911.

Once they say they're on their way I end the phone call and wrap the first aid kit from under the sink.

I spill out everything in the box and wrap some gauze and wrap it around her arm.

I quickly unbuckle my belt and tighten it around her wrist as tight as possible.

I lift her body and carry her into the bedroom. I lay her on the bed and wrap a towel around her arm and squeeze it.

I wait until I hear the sirens outside the house. I lift her and take her out to the ambulance.

I place her down on the stretcher as they take her inside the bus. I get inside the bus as they start hooking her up to IVs and try to bring her back.

Once we arrive at the hospital they take her out and into the hospital.

"What the hell happened?" Alex asks as I walk into the ER.

"I don't know, I found her like this in the bathroom," I say.

"Her wrists are full of them, there's no a spot on her arm that isn't covered in cuts," he says.

"I know. I told you it was getting bad," I say. "Did she try to kill herself?" He asks.

"It looks like it but Meredith wouldn't try something like that while six months into her pregnancy," I say.

"We'll need to take her into the OR, these cuts like deep, she might have hit a nerve or a vein," he says before they take her away.

I go into the waiting room and wait there for a while. After twenty minutes of pacing, I leave the room and look for the OR Meredith is in.

Once I find it I go up the gallery and watch. Alex must've made sure no one would be in here watching because it's completely empty except for Richard, Amelia, and Maggie.

"Derek, are you sure you should be in here?" He says. "It's the only thing I can do, there's nothing else I can do," I say.

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Merry Christmas!!