"Hwang Hyun-ew-Jin said what?" Han Jisung mumbles with his cheeks full of the sandwich he was devouring. The lunch room loud around us, just like it always was.
"He said it wasn't him." I shrug and turn around to see the table he was seated at. Of course the one being with a bunch of girls, him, Minho, and Chan. I sigh as I try to brush it off. I won't let this small ass note get to me right?
"Man if I was in your class, I would beat the shit out of him!" Jisung punched the air dramatically, earning himself a side eye from Felix sitting in between us.
"Don't you remember last year when you almost pissed yourself trying to stand up to Minho and their gang." Felix rolls his eyes at Jisung.
"Y-yah that was only because that bitch ass bunny is the biggest flirt. It was throwing me off!" Jisung tries to defend himself while taking another bite of the sandwich in his hands.
"Maybe Hyunjin didn't write it, maybe it was Minho. He's the one who was picking on me for my grades..." I suggest while placing my head into my arms on the table.
Felix gently rubs my back, "They are just a bunch of idiots okay? Don't take it to heart."
I sigh and let my eyes close, maybe I could sleep my way out of my thoughts. But no. That's never how it worked at this school.
"Hah! You should've seen how gay Chan was acting for that dumb kid in our class!" I could hear Minhos voice loud and clear. It was almost like he was speaking directly into my ear, even though he was sitting at another table. I slowly lift a head to see Minho laughing with a few other girls who weren't in our class. "He was all like 'leave him alone! Let me make out with him!'
More laughs ring out as Minho makes fake smooching sounds. "Yah I never said that!" Chan quick to defend himself from across the table.
"Sureeee, and you aren't gay for little Kim Seungminnie?"
My eyes drift to Hyunjin who was sitting at the table too, he didn't even react to the mention of my name in their conversation. Ugh they get on my nerves. Too used to making fun of us.
Chan responds with a chuckle, "Me? Gay? Please Minho? I'm not fucking weird like that."
Only to make things worse. The pit in my stomach grows larger and I quickly turn my head around. I bury myself even deeper into my arms, hoping to sink into them.
Why would Chan be weird like me?
He was just being nice... obviously he doesn't like me...
"I already like some chick already." Chan huffs as the table breaks out in 'ohhh's and 'wow's.
My throat seemed dry at the sudden confession. I felt like wanting to throw up at how different this Chan seemed to the one I've briefly talked to.
It seems like Felix and jisung also heard the whole conversation, it was loud as fuck anyways. Jisung quickly gets up and taps my back, "Let's get away from them. Come on, we can sit in the library till class starts."
I don't question anything. I was tired and at the brink of breaking down. I needed to get away. So I stand up and and follow jisung and Felix out the lunch room.
We walk past their table, almost going unnoticed until jisung suddenly turns around and walks up to Minho. In one swift move, he kicks his shin before returning back to walk with us out.
My mood was sunken after what I had heard, but the sound of Minho yelping out in pain had brought a small smile to my face.
November 4th, 12:23pm
Sometimes it feels like I'm living in a dream. You know how they say that right before you die, your life flashes before your eyes? It feels like I'm living in that flashback.
One moment feels good. And the next feels hopeless. Ugh I really need to blow off some steam. Jisung might be on to something with his obsession with video games. It would be nice to kill everyone, in a game of course...
I told my mom I was sick during dinner last night and she believed me. I didn't have to see that idiot until this morningx In fact my mom might be catching on to me. Maybe she is noticing my loss in energy.
I'll just blame it on failing my exams. That's the truth eh? I don't know why I always joke about serious things like I literally failed and I'm talking about using it as an exude to not be around Hyunjin.
But I think he made me rethink what happened. Hyunjin genuinely seemed confused, maybe even mad? He was probably mad he didn't get to put that note into my locker first. I swear to god I'm going to schedule a boxing match for us soon. It's in my to do list.
Hearing Chan talk about being gay in that way gave me a reality check. He was part of hyunjin and Minhos friend group. Literally the biggest bitches in town. Why would he be any different?
He was probably just messaging me and sending screenshots to laugh about it with his friends. I would never have a chance with someone handsome and popular like him.
Who was this other girl he liked anyway? Chan never really showed interest in anyone. I can't even remember the last time he had a girlfriend.
Ugh I can feel my eyes getting watery.
Why am I about to start crying over someone who's friends with Hwang? Fuck have I fallen off?
Get yourself together Seungmin!
But calling being gay weird is such an ick. Maybe I don't want to be with someone who talks like that, looks aside.
Atleast Hyunjin doesn't make fun of my sexuality. He wouldn't stoop that low. He's probably secretly in love with Minho.
Holy shit that's the funniest shit ever. I should tell jisung about this when he wakes up from sleeping on the library floor.
He would probably start laughing about kicking Minho again though. That's was top ten most funniest jisung moments for sure.
"Whatcha writing Seungminnie?" Felix leans his head back in the plush chairs we were seated on. Lunch was to end soon and he was trying to enjoy the short break as much as he could.
"Just my diary."
"Ah." Felix looks away for a moment, "Are we not going to talk about what happened?"
"What?" I squint my eyes at him, "That you and changbin smooched and were almost late to class."
"Seungminnnn" Felix quickly shushes me, "What if jisung heard!"
I glance over at the boy who was passed out on the couch. His mouth slightly open and emitting small snores. Good thing there wasn't many people in the library otherwise this would be quite embarassing.
"He's literally on a different planet." I roll my eyes, "plus it's not like we didn't see this coming."
Felix groans and lets his head fall backwards onto the couch. He brings his hands to his face in hides himself in them.
"So are you guys dating?"
"It's complicated," Felix admits, "I mean I think we like eachother and we kissed but nothings official."
I nod in understanding, "Atleast he's not ashamed of you." I send him a sad smile.
Felix reveals his face and frowns, "If Chan's ashamed of you, then cut off his ass."
"He does have some good cake. Maybe I could cut it off."
"That's not what I meant seungmin-"
A/n
Omg the enter key had me dying bro all the skz and Enhypen behind the scenes holy shit
Anyways I'm in my feels rn
Why people gotta be so mean sometimes fr like we all jus some monkey mutations at the end of the day rahhhhhhh
YOU ARE READING
Secrets - Seungjin
Fanfiction"That was the day I found out I had cancer." A simple boy living a simple life was all Kim Seungmin looked like from the outside. Maybe some could catorgorize him as a loser or a loner, but nobody really knew what was really happening. The reason wh...
