Looking Back

Chapter 44

Avery

I sat on the table with Nathan holding my hand. I knew the odds were slim that I'd even know yet, but still...

"Hello Ms. Dorman, I'm Nurse Cahill. And who is this young gentleman here with you today?" She looked at Nathan with a smile as she wrote on my chart.

"This is my boyfriend, Nathan, ma'am," I said. "We, um, well, I need to find out if I'm pregnant."

"I thought that might be the case. Here's a cup. You can step in there, just use the cloth for a clean catch, then leave the sample in the little window. It will only take a few minutes." She handed me the cup and I slid off the table following her directions.

I let out a sigh as I sat back down. "Are you nervous?" Nathan asked.

"Just a lot," I laughed.

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head. "What is meant to be, will be, Cariño. No matter what, we love you and are here for you always."

I let out a sigh and leaned into his embrace. After about twenty minutes, the nurse returned. She sat down in front of me with some papers. "You're not pregnant, sweetheart." I choked back a sob. I don't think I'd realized until that moment how much I wanted to be. "I'm assuming by your reaction that isn't what you hoped for, hmm?"

"No, well, I wasn't sure before, but now.." I sobbed as Nathan held me tight.

The woman waited patiently as I calmed down, then she patted my knees. "Okay, I brought you some information. I'm going to put this away since you obviously aren't interested in birth control," she smiled, "This, however, might help in your endeavors." I looked at the notebook in confusion. "It's an ovulation tracker. You can chart your cycles here and know when you're most likely to get pregnant. You can also download online trackers as well, but I'm not a fan of putting medical information on the internet, so this might be old-school, but it works. The back of the journal tells you about checking your body temperature and how fertility cycles run. Then again, you can also just leave it up to chance if that's what you prefer. Either way, you are both young and healthy. I'm sure you'll be up to your knees in beautiful babies before you know it."

Her motherly tone made me smile and feel much better. I took the journal and stood, hugging her. "Thank you so much."

She scoffed, "No worries dearie,  just keep the faith and it will happen."

**Trigger Warning: Sexual abuse, assault, kidnapping - it's going to get very twisted**

Mike

"Really, hum, okay, well thanks," I hung up the phone and hollered for my reckless brother. "Shane, get your lazy ass in here!"

"What?" He was rubbing his bloodshot eyes.

"Get cleaned up. We've got work to do, and no getting sloppy this time. We've got a buyer lined up so this one goes to the farm." He frowned and grumbled as he headed toward the shower. I swear if he wasn't blood I'd have killed him a long time ago.

A few hours later we pulled up in front of the farm.

"Goodness, what took you two so long?" Ma asked as she helped us unload the new breeder. "Well, get her cleaned up and prepped. Her heat will set in soon." She stroked the girl's face. "Don't worry sweetheart, soon you'll be good and fat with a baby, my boys will make sure of it. After all, that's what you always wanted, right?"

The girl made unintelligible noises as she tried to move, but it was no use. Shane and I had bound her tight. We carried her into the pens and placed her in the stockades then began cleaning her up. I cut her hair, letting the brown strands drop to the mud below. Yeah, it was pretty, but out here on the farm, the livestock didn't need to look pretty, just produce. Shane put the feeding tube down her throat with the sedative mixed in the puree. I massaged her throat as we forced it down her and soon, she was calm as a lamb. We put blankets over her and turned on the heat lamp, hooking up her watering system. Then we went to check on the others.

Number four was almost ready to give birth. Her swollen stomach was carefully cradled in the sling. I ran my hands over the stretched skin feeling my son kick at my touch. He'd fetch a good price. The breeder moaned and shifted. "Shh, almost there girlie. I know you're tired, but you've done so well. Once he's weaned, we'll get you back in cycle, just like a good little breeder." She moaned as I moved along, checking the others. Shane was checking the temperature on number two. "Is she close?"

"Yeah, she'll hit her heat by this weekend," he said. "The new one is in the window already. You taking first round or am I?"

I grinned, knowing he had a soft spot for her. "Go ahead and take the first round. You're the one who spotted her first anyway." He grinned and put away the thermometer as he headed back to the newest breeder. Ma came up next to me as we watched him mount her.

"I thought you wanted that one?" she asked.

"Oh, I do, but he's been out of sorts lately. Figured I'd let him have the first go. I'll take the second round. Better chances if we alternate really."

"You want to keep her, don't you?" she said softly.

"Yeah. I want to break her and then make her need me more than she needs to breathe," I chuckled. "She's got fire, and I can't wait to douse it."

Author's Notes:  I'm the damn writer and my skin is crawling at his character...