Merciana Sheehan knew she was born from the Underground, but her entire childhood was a blur.
After graduating from the Cadet Core and joining the Scout Regiment, despite her friends' wishes, she faces an unforeseen accident where she is knocked...
It all came back to me. Every single time Levi's name was mentioned. How my father loathed him and spoke of him being the target. "This device will filter your rage... When you see the target, you will kill him immediately as if it's muscle memory.." My father would say. I was to kill Levi, and avenge my mother. "No..." My lungs felt like they would cave in.
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I didn't want to hurt Levi... but something inside me boiled over. The fact that he killed my mother, and I had no idea seemed to fester inside me. I knew that rage would only multiply the more I thought about it, and if I laid eyes on Levi I wouldn't have control over myself. My heart and bones ached. I felt like I had lost Levi, as if he'd been ripped from me. He wasn't the person I knew. He wasn't the person I loved. He murdered my mother, and my ancestral rage hated him for it. "What is it Mercy?" Armin asked as he came to my side. "What's wrong?" "I need... as far away from here as possible..." I said weakly as I shook my head and began to pace. "What are you talking about? We need-" "Get me the hell out of here!" I shrieked and made my way toward my horse as I felt my breaths began to quicken. My skin flushed with heat as if I was running a fever. I was so angry, so confused, but it all made sense at the same time. Levi always seemed sad when he looked at me, but my touch or my voice would bring him back. He always looked at me as if he knew something I didn't, and it all finally came to a head.
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He took care of me Underground because he felt guilty for killing my mother, to wash away his sins. I couldn't shake it from my mind: that he killed my mother. He did so and didn't even have the decency to sit me down and tell me, but then again I couldn't blame him. He had to have known that he was the target all along. Did anyone know about this? Hange? Anyone? My mind turned over and over as I thought about it all, and felt my breathing become erratic as I approached my horse. Levi killed my mother. Levi killed my mother. Levi killed my mother. But... why? Why would he do such a thing? Was it an accident? A mistake? Was there more to him than I knew? My father spoke about my mother's death as if it was in cold blood. As if Levi was a malicious man, but I knew better than anyone that that was far from true. Levi was my pale blue sky. He was the man who did his best to comfort me in my times of need, even when I wasn't aware. He took my cloak off me when I was overheating outside the walls. He dressed my naked body the morning after claiming me as his, and did so unapologetically. He was the one who sewed my Scout cloak when it had a tear that I didn't even notice. He was protective and selfless.. Was it all fake? Was it truly his will or was he atoning for his sins from taking my mother's life? Did he even love me? My mind continued to race as I was several feet from my horse. I heard Jean, Sasha and Armin following me, all trying to get to the bottom of my actions, but I couldn't stop moving my feet. Regardless of everything Levi did for me... he still killed my mother, and I wanted to know how and why. I wanted to know if his bones ached at her loss the way mine did. I wanted to know if every time he looked into my green eyes if he would see the eyes of the woman he murdered. I wanted to know how he could look me in the eyes after what he did. How could he not bow his head or look away after seeing the eyes of the dead woman that gave them to me? How could he have sex with me after what he did? How could he kiss me after what he did? How could he touch me with the same hands that were stained with my mother's blood? I need to get out of here... I could feel it. I could feel my device dispersing anger with every beat of my heart. I could feel it unleashing all my pent up rage. I could feel it honing in on the target: Levi. "Mercy, what's going on?" Armin called from behind me as I was next to my horse. He was walking toward me, and I dropped my head. "Armin.. he..." I began, but my mind went blank. I didn't want the words to come out of my mouth. "Mercy, pull yourself together. We have to go save Levi!" Armin shouted as he grew frustrated. I shook my head and looked up at him.
