Apple Hair

Chapter 13 - KADEN🥭

It's pretty embarrassing that I'm addicted to porn, knowing all the studies about how it makes you dumb. But after watching in the morning, I deal with the guilt that comes with it. I don't want to think about it too long. I walk out to the living room and find Shar who walks around and tidies up various little things in the living room. She definitely doesn't have to do that. I volunteer to go with her to pick up Corrin from the hospital.

My addiction... started when I was young, when the stress of losing my parents ate at me and I needed an escape. I never told Lora about it, wanting to protect her from everything. In fact, I always keep a cool and collected facade in front of her. I just don't want her to lose faith in me.

I can't lose faith in Corrin either. So when Shar takes me in the van early in the morning, I don't pop in my headphones like usual. I watch as Shar lowers the volume of the radio. I think she wants to talk.

"How was taking him yesterday?" I ask.

She hums. "He's still there. He just needs some support. These sorts of things take a lot of time to heal."

"I know," I say, not adding that I wrote about mental health for my senior thesis. I click my tongue. "This is just really bad timing."

I realize I sound like an ass, but Shar doesn't call me out for it. "Yeah, it is."

Corin's standing to be discharged outside of the emergency room. He gives me a wave, which is a little subdued when compared to his manic state yesterday.

His hair sticks up in a wayward mess. He gives me a little smile, and from his eyebags I know he didn't sleep a wink. "Hey," I say. "Was it okay in there? What did they say?"

"I just need sleep," he says. "And to keep taking my meds. They'll have some effect soon—or at least that's what they say."

"Good, good," I say, even as Corrin glances around suspiciously.

I place my arm around his shoulder. Even though we've only been together for around a month, I've started to care for him. Maybe a bit too much. He's like my little sister, in a lot of ways actually.

He rests his head on mine, and I wonder what's going through his mind. Probably a thousand different things.

I want him to know one thing though. I say it with as much conviction I can muster. "You'll be okay."

He doesn't answer, and I think I see Shar shed a tear out of the corner of my eye.

*

Back at the dorm, I wait until Corrin's still in his bed—sleeping, or at least pretending to? I make sure the curtains are fully closed before I join everyone else in the van.

"He's alive," I announce.

The boys give me varying levels of stares, suspicion and relief all mixed into one.

"That's good," Seiya says. "I mean, he's not dead."

"Seiya!" David says.

Van crosses his arms, staring out the window of the front seat. He's probably the most affected about "losing" Corrin. They've always had a soft spot for each other. Maybe not to the degree of Seiya and David, but still.

I lean back. I'm on autopilot as we reach the company and head to the first class of the day—language with Cory Matthews.

"Now, we're gonna start with our presentations," Mr. Matthews says, calling up the first group. "And the following group is Apple Hair."

The first group does a roleplay in Korean, something about going to the beach and losing your boogie board. It irks me a little bit, as talking about the ocean always does with me. By the time it's our turn, I have to force myself to stand. My legs feel weighed down with bags of flour.