To debut, the five members of Apple Hair join AWE Entertainment, the first company of its kind in Oahu, Hawaii. Inspired by K-pop companies, the rigid training system is too much for most trainees to bear. But Van, Corrin, Kaden, Seiya, and David ar...
I take the bait despite my knowledge about the dream world, what it can do and how it can hook you. I enter the realm in the middle of the day. More specifically, while I lie down on my stomach after a particularly arduous dance practice.
The room I'm using, the last one down the hall, I chose because of its distance from everyone. The isolation. Since the surgery, I've had flare ups sometimes which feel like needles digging into my spine. I've looked up many explanations on why this happens, and the lack of clear answers made me stop looking altogether.
As I lie down on the floor, a sweet melody draws me away. I know I can refuse, but I let it take me. Sometimes, the easy thing to do just makes the most sense.
I no longer lie down on the floor. Rather, I lie on a beach towel, the warmth of the sand seeping through. The sun's rays eliminate the needles in my back. When I raise my head a bit, I see my family's favorite beach in the past. White Plains.
Although the dream world can trick my senses, it's rare when I'll be transported to a new place altogether. To a new time.
I hear my sister in the background. And then, when I already feel overwhelmed, my parents speak. First my dad, then my mom.
They speak happily. I can't make out the words, but they must sit behind me on beach chairs, just like they used to.
I keep my gaze forward. If I turn around and see them, I won't be able to come back to reality. I dig my elbows into the beach towel, focusing on the grip of the displaced sand.
As my parents and Lora continue to speak, I think about the first few years after I lost them. An inconsolable Lora and distant grandparents made it hard to process my own feelings. I turned to porn. And I tried my best to keep composed in front of my sister, even when things were falling apart internally.
If I turn around, I can see them again. The dream version of them, at least. The sun's rays, so real, and the wind that carries salt into my nostrils tell me that they'll be as close to how I remember them as possible.
Instead, I keep my gaze forward. If I lose myself to the temptation, I might never return to Apple Hair.
The ghost chooses this moment to speak. Kaden. The way it says my name almost tastes like slime. Why don't you just turn around? They want to see you, They miss you as well.
I'd rather lose half my brain than listen to the ghost, so I stay stubborn. I search my pocket for something to write on. A piece of paper and a pen, which I always carry with me now. Being prepared doesn't have to be complicated sometimes.
When my parents laugh, a rich sound like a melody, I almost turn around. To see them again, smiling, at one of their favorite places in the world, would mean more than a new spine.
But I put the paper near my chin. With trembling hands, I begin to write. Apple Hair....
Why do you always have to think of the group? the ghost says. Just stay here. Just be comfortable. I know you want to rest in the arms of your parents once more. Here, your back will never give you problems again. You'll have Mom and Dad.
I scribble, found their way back to each other, despite the temptation to lose themselves to fantasy.
Slowly, the edges of the beach fade back to the corner room. I breathe in the salt one more time, savoring the way the sun eliminates all discomfort in my back. My parents' voices go last, along with Lora's giggling.
I crawl. I stand up, ignoring the needles. I head straight outside, afraid of what I'll find with the other members. Something tells me the ghost wants to act against the guys at the same time. I count my steps toward the studio, where we're supposed to go for another two hour session with Armani.
Instead of finding Armani, I find Allen and his crew. Jason and Paula also stand in the midst. "Why is this fair?" Allen says, waving his hands around.
Van looks like he wants to retreat. But he stands firm. "It's just a performance."
"Why do you five get to perform at a university?" Allen pushes. "It's not fair. It's special treatment. Again."
I push through and join the other four. "What's the problem?" I say.
"The problem's the same as always," Allen says, making a sour face. "Apple Hair sneaking up on everyone again. If not a super freaky dream, then something that will put them higher than everyone else."
Seiya places an arm around David's shoulder, and Corrin looks toward me. He worries his lip. I open my mouth, imagining my parents. Not my dream world parents, but the ones who taught me to speak up when necessary.
"Hey," I say. "No one's stopping you from performing as well. Why don't you bring this up with CEO Kim? You can have your own sets with your own teams. Just don't interfere with the performance that we're planning."
Allen looks like a tortoise about to charge. "Performing as well? Like some kind of random concert?"
"Why not?" I say.
Allen's groupies exchange glances. I bet they wanted us to cancel it altogether, but now I posed a challenge. If they don't perform, that'll be their fault for missing out. I stand beside my members, making a makeshift wall.
Jason puts a hand on Allen's shoulder. "Maybe we can perform too," he says.
Paula raises her voice. "Right. We'll ask CEO Kim if we can also perform, and I don't think he'll be against it."
Corrin smiles without his teeth. "Glad it's settled!"
One by one, the trainees leave the room. Jason and Allen go last, along with Paula who sticks around just a second longer. "Not all the trainees are against you anymore," she almost whispers.
I click my tongue. "I find that hard to believe." For some reason, I can't keep my eyes off her. Her prettiness reminds me of glaring into the sun.
"Really," she says. "Take me for example. I don't think you guys have bad intentions."
"Thanks," Van says.
Seiya adds, "Yah, that's a big help, Paula."
"I'm looking forward to sharing the stage," David says.
When she leaves, Armani sticks her head through the doorway. "Did I interrupt something?"
I smile, almost excited for practice. Back in the real world, with these guys. I can't turn my back on my new family, not when we have a magical performance in the works.
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If you were Kaden, would you give in to the dream world?
I'm thinking about the dreams that feel so much better than reality. When I wake up, I feel sad about leaving that world. I don't think I would have Kaden's control to resist!
