Red Zealot and Lopez: ...
O'Malley: What're you still doing there?
Red Zealot: I forget. Which battle station is mine? I'm still learning my way around the fortress.
Lopez: Necesito que alguien me lleve. No tengo ningún torso. [I need someone to carry me. I have no torso.]
Cut to Sarge on a ramp, talking over radio sounds for a bit.
Sarge: Okay, is everyone ready? Donut, Caboose and I will move the bomb down the staircase and along the left side of the base.
Caboose: (holding the bomb and talking in a strained voice) Please hurry, I don't know how much longer I can talk like this.
Donut: Man that does look heavy. You really should consider wearing some kind of supportive undergarment.
Caboose: U-no thanks. I can do it.
Donut: Come on now, don't be shy. You can borrow one of mine! I'm thinking something with lace. Lace is totally in right now!
Cut to a random sniper rifle.
Tucker: Ooh, sniper rifle!
Tex: (taking it) I got it.
Tucker: Fuck.
Cut to Rayner crouching behind a wall.
Rayner: Present.
Cut to Simmons and Grif.
Simmons: Copy that Sarge.
Sarge: Simmons, you and the two bullet magnets move up the right side and try to cause some kind of distraction.
Simmons: Any suggestions?
Sarge: As long as it draws their fire away from us and towards you I don't care.
Donut: Try some dance moves! Oh! You could do a musical number!
Sarge: Get off the radio, Donut!
Simmons: Alright, looks like we're on our own, guys. Tex, how does it look from up there?
Pans up to Tex who's actually in a reasonable tactical position.
Tex: I don't see any movement... but the guns are definitely online.
Tucker: You know what, I miss the old days, when we didn't risk our lives, and you guys were all just a bunch of nameless assholes I would yell at with Church.
Grif: It's okay. We hate you too man.
Sarge: Okay, let's move out!
Cut to O'Malley looking down on them from his high vantage point in the fortress of evil.
O'Malley: Huhah, here they come. Get ready.
Cut to The Red Zealot taking up one of the turrets.
Red Zealot: Prepare to be cleansed, infidels!
Cut to Lopez's head on the other turret.
Lopez: No los dejaré cruzar la frontera. [I will not let them cross the border.]
Cut to Simmons and the bullet magnets in a cave.
Simmons: Alright, so far so good. Sarge, we are in position.
Cut to Sarge in front of a sign that says Camp Froman.
Sarge: Roger that. We are also in position. No sign of the enemy.
YOU ARE READING
Red vs Blue : Mirage
HumorFormer mercenary Kyle Rayner has lived a rough life. After retiring from mercenary work he sought to live a normal life, but soon learns how hard it is to adjust to civilian life after all the grueling missions he's been on. So, he does the next bes...
Heavy Metal
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