Fade in to the Reds for Sarge's service.
Simmons: And now, Grif has asked to say a few things about our beloved Sarge.
Grif: Hey everybody, it's great to be here. Well, what can I say about a guy like Sarge. I mean besides, "good riddence." Hoooo.
Grif's Sister: Yeah-
Grif: But seriously, Sarge lived a great life. And now that he's dead, our lives are pretty good too. Zing! Hahahahaa, you know what I'm talking about.
Sarge: Come on, is this a rememberance or a roast?
Grif: Quiet in the front row. And I'm not askin', and he's not tellin', but I heard when Donut first came to the base, Sarge spent a lot of time talkin' about glazed donut holes, if you know what I mean. Hiyoooo.
Simmons: Too soon!
Grif: Hey now.
Sarge: This is the worst funeral I've ever had! You losers better step up the crying, pronto!
Simmons: Oh, don't worry sir, I've written a stirring speech that's sure to tug at everyone's heartstrings.
Sarge: Good to hear it, now get with the eulogizing!
Simmons runs up to the front.
Simmons: On it, sir.
Grif: And who could forget the time Sarge showed us all how to field strip Simmons'-
Simmons: Okay that's enough, I said five minutes, Grif.
Grif: Bye everybody, I'll be appearing at the Laugh Cavern every Tuesday. Ladies drink free.
Grif's Sister: Whoohoooo!
Grif: Not you!
Grif's Sister: Aw.
Simmons: Okay, whatever, get off. Hello everyone. I'm here to say a few words about our friend Sarge.
Grif: Boo, you suck.
Simmons: Grif, get off the stage!
Grif: Uh, sorry.
Grif retreats to the peanut gallery.
Simmons: Okay, like I was saying, I'm here to say a few words about Sarge.
Grif: Boooo, you suck!
Simmons: As you all know, Sarge was a magnificent leader, and he was a great inspiration to all his troops.
Sarge: Hh, Simmons was right, this is so emotional. Where's my hankie?
Simmons: He was a man of honour, discipline, and character.
Sarge: It's like he's saying what we're all thinking.
Grif: If he was saying what I'm thinkin' he'd be yawning while he said it.
Simmons: But perhaps his greatest accomplishment, as a military man...
Sarge: Tell it!
Simmons: And a friend...
Sarge: Preach on, preach on.
Simmons: Was developing my considerable skills as a soldier and a leader.
Sarge: What?
Simmons: As you all know, Sarge's untimely demise leaves a gap in our command structure. A gap that is best filled by Sarge's right-hand man. A man that has a vision for the Red Team.
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Red vs Blue : Mirage
HumorFormer mercenary Kyle Rayner has lived a rough life. After retiring from mercenary work he sought to live a normal life, but soon learns how hard it is to adjust to civilian life after all the grueling missions he's been on. So, he does the next bes...