vehement

3

He smiles, leaning down to kiss my forehead again. "I made some food. You can have some before you go."

"I need to get Enzo home." I whisper.

"I'll put some in a plastic container for you to take. It'll only be a minute."

"Okay, thanks." I say as he rushes out of the room.

My dad comes inside and smiles at Louise. "Where are the boys?"

"In bed." She responds. She leans back on the couch. "We took them to the park earlier to tire them out. It worked, thank God." She laughs.

Xander returns with a large plastic bag. I take it from him and looks inside, finding more than some. This might as well be a three course meal.

"Thank you." I say, relief pouring over me. These will last me the next few days, I'm sure.

"It's okay." He responds.

I hug him again and say goodbye to Louise before following my dad back out to the car. I get Enzo into his car seat in the back before getting into the passengers seat.

We drive back to my Florist, and my dad helps us get inside, holding my suitcase for me. We go past all the flower displays and into the back room, then up the spiral staircase that leads to our home.

I unlock it, then walk inside with Enzo half asleep in my arms.

"Why don't I put him to bed and you can get yourself organised?" He suggests.

I smile and pass him over, nodding. "Thanks, Dad."

"It's no problem, baby." He responds. He walks toward Enzo's bedroom, and I let out a heavy sigh before going to the kitchen. I take the containers that Xander gave me and stuff them inside the basically empty fridge. It fills it up much more, and I smile.

My dad walks in after a few minutes of me cleaning everything up from before I left. We were in a rush, so I didn't have time to tidy up after myself.

     "I'll get going now." He says. He wraps me up in another hug, then plants a kiss in my disheveled hair. "I'll see you soon, sweetheart."

     "Bye, dad. I love you."

     He smiles. "I love you too. Bye." He leaves the room, and a moment later I hear the door close, and then the sound of the back door downstairs closing since I locked the front one on the way up. He locks it himself, because he has the key too.

     When I'm alone, I allow all those worries from earlier to storm back into my mind. I clench my eyes shut, leaning on the counter and putting my head in my hands. I let out a small sob, guilt overwhelming me because I'm not just failing myself, or the nine year old version of me who wanted to become the best Florist in the world, but now I'm failing my son, too. And I have no clue how to change that.

     I stand up properly and turn the lights off, walking to my bedroom in the dark. I get changed, not bothering to unpack my suitcase, and check on Enzo before I go to bed.

     He's tucked tightly beneath his Cars covers, his little head sticking out. I smile, lean down and kiss his cheek.

     "I love you so much." I whisper, even though he can't hear me. "To the stars and back again."

     He peels his blue eyes open. "Mama."

     "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. Go back to sleep, honey."

     Instead, he sits up. "Stay with you, mama?"

     My expression softens. "Alright." I stand and lean down to lift him onto my hip, then carry him into my bedroom. I set him down in the middle of the double bed before climbing in next to him. He lays his head on the pillow beside mine, then giggles.