Live Another Day

Hyacinths

Ada was already far ahead of Katy and Leon after they had finished their small little conversation about the gun shop owner and his daughter. She didn't even wait for them, she just continued to strut through the empty streets like a beautiful pantheress with no cares in the world. Katy was standing in close proximity to Leon, holding onto his hand tightly as if he would slip away from her if she relaxed her grip by even the slightest bit. She kept her hand wrapped tightly in his as she kept her observant eyes on the gorgeous agent who was walking in her stride like a professional runway model, and Katy found herself to be reminiscing about what life was like back at college.

Katy is not, by any means, a jealous or insecure person, but sometimes she tends to think too much about individuals who don't even know her. Jealousy, envy, resentment, and other negative emotions never stopped Katy from succeeding in academics and scoring high marks in all of her classes, but sometimes she would feel her insides churn and shrivel by the fact that other students and women her age were living the life and getting all the things she wanted like fancy trips around the world, a naturally gorgeous, hourglass shaped body, and earthly possessions Katy never had....It didn't bother her too bad, but sometimes she thought about it a little too often and it would always drive her to a series of severe lows.

Every woman in her college classes was not only successful and beautiful, they were incredibly confident and comfortable in their own skins. Something Katy never related to. The other students would never study and would hang out at frat parties every school night while Katy stayed in her lonely apartment building, spending her lounge time reading, reading, and yes, even more reading. She never lets herself relax. She's the hardest working student in that entire college and yet, despite all her efforts, she still feels as if she doesn't do enough.

There were days she would feel like passing out from overworking herself and yet, she never let herself get a break. She wouldn't understand the meaning of the word 'rest' if you repeated it to her a billion times. She's always on her feet, even when the rug has been pulled from beneath her. She never gives up. She's her own worst enemy and hellish nightmare and that's how it's always been. Everyone she thought she could trust abandoned her like she was an old doll a little girl doesn't play with anymore. She's been set on millions of shelves that left her to collect dust and wither like a forgotten rose and yet, she's still standing.

She likes to think of herself as resilient. That is, before Ada came along. Katy's only known her for a short time, but there's something about that woman that takes her back to the moments back at college when she didn't feel....good enough. Ada's just like those successful students she knew who had it all. The mental strength, the brains, the courage, the damn confidence. All of the things Katy felt like she desperately lacked.

She's so gorgeous, Katy was afraid of what could happen if she even attempted to say anything to her face. She was so feminine, Katy felt like a little school boy standing next to her. Not to mention how symmetrical her features were. It was like her entire being was sculpted by the goddesses of beauty. She was so....perfect. Something Katy felt like she was not.

I both admire this woman and envy her at the same time. How can someone be so perfect in everything they do? She does it without even trying....what am I doing wrong? Am I maybe trying too hard? Am I not trying enough? Katy's eyes narrowed while she spoke to herself in her mind in pure anger and disgust. If there was a mirror, Katy would definitely punch it to shatters after seeing her reflection. Without even realizing what was going on, Katy began to absentmindedly squeeze the hell out of Leon's manly hand.

"Clingy much?" Leon teased with a small chuckle as he noticed how tight she was now squeezing his hand. It's a good thing he's physically strong otherwise, this would hurt him by a big deal.