Love me better [Fyolai Highschool Au]

Apologize

Fjodor still felt a little guilty for hanging up on Sigma. Quietly he sat on the window shelf, watching the could veil and unveil the moon. His head was leaning against the cold window as he let the day pass in review.

After they had went back into the court room, he sat down on the chair in the middle again. Minute after Minute had passed as he formed sentences in his head, discarded them again, got lost in the memories and forcefully pulled himself out again. But he had known what he had to do. He remembered how Sigma had said he just forced himself to do the things he was afraid of. Then he simply started. With just a simple sentence.

"What I stated in my testimony is true", he had said to make a start. Slowly, word for word, he had gone along the story, imagining to retell his entire testimony.

Fjodor's breath condensed on the window and left a misty spot on the glass. The verdict had been postponed as the court needed to discuss the final judgement. Their stories were just too different, too contradicting. Anxiously he fidgeted with the edges of pillow in his hands. Now, everything he could do was wait. Wait and hope.

When Fjodor turned his head away from the window, his gaze fell upon Nikolai, who was sleeping peacefully on his bed. If someone had told him a few years ago how his life would turn out now, he would have never believed him. How did he earn such a wonderful person like Nikolai to be by his side? How did he earn a friend like Sigma, who forgave him despite what he had done, how he had threatened and used him?

Nikolai would probably say something like "Nobody has to earn this, it should be a given" or "Everyone has the right to live a happy life, no matter what they did, as long as they truly want to". Fjodor sighed and lied down on his futon, but his mind was still spinning. Restless he sat up again. Nikolai mumbled something in his sleep and rolled on his bed towards the wall. Timidly Fjodor sat on the edge of the bed, lifting the blanket before crawling under it. Nikolai turned over again and snuggled up to him.

Fjodor still didn't sleep that night. His mind just wouldn't let him. But he calmed down a bit, stopping the anxious fluttering feeling in his chest.

Early in the morning Fjodor snuck out of the room, down the stairs to the living room. Are you up already? He typed in his phone and sent the message to Sigma. Of course I am. Sigma didn't take a minute to respond as if he had just waited for him. And who was of course awake at half past six? But Sigma had always been an early bird. At school Fjodor had often seen him already hanging around when he arrived. And Fjodor was the definition of a punctual early riser, especially when there was council work to do.

Without a further thought he called his junior. "Wah! Erm, hello, good morning Dostojewsky." Seemed like he had scared him a little. "Good morning Sigma." - "Do you need something?", the younger one asked. Fjodor shook his head, then realized that gesture was completely useless. "No", he said. "Well, maybe. I just wanted to apologize for hanging up on you yesterday." A slight chuckle was heard through the phone. "Actually it was Gogol who hung up."

He wasn't wrong there. Still... "And I wanted to thank you for your advice." Sigma made an approving sound. Then he hesitated. "May I... Ask what that was all about?" Fjodor let himself fall on the sofa and stared at the ceiling. "Yesterday was the court hearing about... my father and stuff." He didn't know how to phrase that exactly.

Sigma inhaled, as if he wanted to say something and then changed his mind before starting anew a few moments later. "How did it go?" He himself didn't even know. "The final verdict will be told on Monday they said." Silence. Sigma had probably nodded as well and didn't realize he couldn't see. Fjodor grinned.

"How are you feeling now?" Sigma sounded a little concerned now. "Don't know. I mean, my father's still in custody till Monday, so it's okay. But I don't know what the result will be, so..." - "...so it's not okay", Sigma said. Both of them took a minute, before they started laughing. "Yeah, somewhat like that."