Love me better [Fyolai Highschool Au]

Harsh Words

Fjodor froze as he heard that voice. Slowly he turned around towards the door. "Don't look at me like that. I care about your wellbeing." Nikolai laughed ironically as he walked between Fjodor and his father. "How can you say that after what you did to him?"

The old man looked at Nikolai as if he was some background noise of the radio. "You have no grasp of the situation as a whole, bystander." Nikolai's fingers clenched to a fist. "You..." Fjodor stopped him as he stepped beside him. "I don't want to argue with you anymore. It's gonna be over soon anyway", he said, trying to sound as indifferent as he could, before walking past him.

But just as he was about to pass the door, his father grabbed his arm, pushing him against the wall. His surprised scream was muffled by a hand put on his mouth. "Keep it down, both of you." He glared at Nikolai, still standing in the same position. Nobody moved. "Listen, I don't know what you're up to, but I can promise you one thing. Go up against me and your life will be a living hell."

Fjodor could smell the alcohol in his father's breath as he whispered the words in his hear. His whole body was shaking. "Go up against me and those two broken ribs will seem like nothing more than a scratch to you." Fjodor struggled against the strong hands, that pinned him against the wall. His father took one step closer until there was almost no space between them anymore. "Didn't you realize? You can't win against me. You never will. Because you're a weak failure." It was a mere whisper brushing against Fjodor's skin, but it felt like a thousand needle pricks.

With a push against the wall, his father let go of him and left the restroom. Fjodor fell to his knees, shivering. "I'm never gonna win, he's right, I'm never..." - "No, Fyo, don't even think that!", Nikolai shouted against him. He felt guilty because he didn't do anything. He just stood there watching Fjodor suffer, he couldn't move, he couldn't speak. It was clear why Fjodor thought he could do nothing against his father. That man had an aura that suppressed the will of any person. But he couldn't make excuses. He failed as Fjodor's boyfriend and protector.

Slowly Fjodor rose his head and looked at Nikolai with his purple eyes. "But you're thinking it yourself, aren't you? Nobody can win against him. The police won't believe me, the court won't. They'll think you manipulated me into framing my father." Nikolai sighed as he sat down next to Fjodor on the bathroom floor. Why always the bathroom?

"Fyo, I see where you're coming from, but you can't win a battle you never fought. You'll lose right from the start. Maybe they will think that, but maybe they won't. But I'd rather take the risk of being framed than see you being manipulated by your father again and again."

"You don't know what you're saying", Fjodor cried. "Even if the police believes me. They'll interrogate my father, he'll find excuses, he'll defend himself and then everything will be even worse. If that's what I get, I'd rather have things stay as they are." At that moment, Nikolai's heart broke and his brain snapped.

A bit more forceful than he wanted to, he grabbed Fjodor's shoulders and made him look into his eyes. He could see the panic shimmering behind the purple orbs, he could feel the shivers running through his small body. "You see that? You feel that? I'm your damn boyfriend and you're afraid of me because of him. I can't count the times you threw up because of him, how often you screamed in your sleep because of him, how often you woke up crying at night because of him. You thought I wouldn't notice, but I did, every single time. And we've gotten through this, you trusted me, until he came and ruined it all over again. Tell me, do you really want this to go on forever?

I'm not saying this for my sake, because if I had to, I would do anything for you, but I don't want to. I don't want to see you like this anymore. I can't. You said we would go to the police tomorrow. You promised. And even if you don't believe it will work, even if we should fail, which I don't think we will, if you don't do anything, you will be exactly that weak person your father tells you you are. Because you let him control your life. But I know you can do better. Just think of the time you recorded him on your phone. I know you can do better. I believe in you. But you need to belive in yourself too."

Nikolai felt out of breath when he stopped talking. He didn't know if Fjodor even heard him or if his brain short circuited because he grabbed him so harshly. Slowly Nikolai loosened his grip and let his hands sink down to the floor. He wanted to say sorry, but felt like he shouldn't. It had been harsh words he had used and he was relieved his brain was able to swap weak 'failure' with 'person', because he would have never forgiven himself for that one, but he hoped this would finally open Fjodor's eyes to what he wanted and what he should do.

Silently Nikolai left the bathroom and closed the door. Heavily he leaned against the wooden doorframe as he heard Fjodor sob inside. He knew Fjodor had to be alone now, but he couldn't bring himself to leave completely, so he stayed watch.