seaside | taekook

26

july 26, 2015

[kth]

THE JUNGKOOK PLAN
entry 1

almost a week has gone by and i can't get him out of his house. every time i try, he ignores me. i guess i deserve it; after all, i've ignored him countless of times before.

it's frustrating.

i'm not sure when i decided to care so much. maybe i never decided at all. i mean, jungkook's been a pain in my ass ever since i can remember. he was constantly chatting, either to me or to literally anyone around him. even if he would be constantly ignored, even if kids would snicker at him or talk about him behind his back, his sparkle never dwindled. he'd never been mean. he'd never be rude or unpleasant in any of our encounters before. he was always so... bold, and i think it scared me.

when jungkook moved some time ago, he disrupted everything in my life. he was just so different from everyone in this town, and that difference was off putting. this town isn't used to people like him. boys like him. boys that aren't rough around the edges, boys that are sweet and delicate. there weren't any boys like him, which made him a perfect, easy target. and i was too afraid.

i was too afraid that i would ruin that sparkle.

he really was a lot to handle at times, but i was so afraid that all the attention he was showing me would make me be laughed at or teased. i was never brave enough to look past the judgement of others. i'm not even sure i'm brave enough now.

all i know is, things are different now. jungkook's sparkle is gone. i noticed changes at school; like how he grew uncharacteristically quiet, how that familiar chatter turned to silence, and that big bunny smile started to shrink. and now i know, after that night, that his sparkle has vanished.

and i don't like it. i don't like him like this. i liked the old jungkook and i want him back.

and the first step is to earn his trust.