The Life of Eirḗnē

Chapter 23: Beloved

Leia

Dear Andre,

Kuya, you would have turned 27 this year. There are so many questions I have for you, but I want to start with these: How is it there? Are you feeling alright?

The first time I met you, I didn’t know of you yet. At the young age we visited you, I didn’t know what the purpose of our visit was yet. Little did I know the person we would be visiting every year was you, an angel.

I hadn’t known that a part of our parents’ hearts was taken the day He decided you were to come Home. I can’t imagine how painful it must have felt to lose a child so young– not be able to experience him growing up, living life, graduating– every step that parents should be present for.

Losing a child is something no parent could ever be prepared for, especially considering our parents had you so young too.

It’s bittersweet to think that although I never met you, I love you more than words could ever express. Kuya, I’m sure your soul is loved, taken care of, and at peace wherever you may be.
I find peace in knowing you are too.

I am in awe whenever I see sunsets and rainbows, breathtaking views, and angel numbers, because all I think about is you, Kuya.

When I pray for people's happiness and peace, I pray for yours too. I think of you whenever I receive more of what I should, because you are an additional person I would like to share my blessings with.

When I know I haven’t been the best daughter, sister, and friend, I think of you.
I long to meet you, share my joyful moments and troubles with you, cry my heart out to you, and create memories with you. I hope I make you proud, Kuya.

Since I’m unable to spend life with you, I vow to carry you on my mind wherever I go.
Kuya, I hope to shed even half the light that you would’ve.

Thank you, kuya, for being our guardian angel.
Mahal na mahal kita palagi. Mahal na mahal ka namin, Kuya.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Sara

Dear Baby,

Moon, I would've loved you from the very start, even if I could not bear the same love for myself. I would relearn it all over again for you. I would’ve been a mother but I wasn’t; I’ve always dreamed of being one. But I was afraid of failing you like how I considered my own failed me.

I was young, yet I was able to experience the loss of a mother.
Not a single day passes without remembering the pain I’ve caused for myself before you even entered my life.

The tears I’ve shed have done nothing but fail me. It made me believe that maybe it was just a sign from the heavens above telling me,
“When the day comes that you get to hold your baby, all the suffering will soon be gone.”

The day I lost you, was the day I felt like a part of my soul was  away forever.
I’ve realized how much I’ve grieved over the years, oftentimes I would forget that you’re the reason for all of my success in my life.

You remain as the reason why I find myself wanting to live life– with you to be wrapped in my arms without saying goodbye.

I would’ve done everything for you, but the time wasn’t right for us.
I love you then and now. Mommy will be here to say, “Hello again, I’ve been waiting for you.”