Cynthia Romani

20

I retreated to my room, and put my earphones on and grabbed my journal.

I knew everything would come crashing down. Her being energetic was the last thing her body gave. She's leaving me. My mom.

Why God? I can't seem to wrap my mind around this. There's many cruel people in this world and you're taking one who deserves more time. I'm not ready to lose my mother, I can't.

I think the day she finally leaves, a part of me goes with her.

- Cynthia R.

I throw my journal across the room and burst out crying again. Life is not fair. She won't be here for my special moments in my life. My prom, my graduation, my birthdays, my wedding, when I have kids. She won't be here that's what hurts the most, that I have to continue living without her by my side.

I cry for the girl who was always by her moms side, for the man who's losing his childhood sweetheart, I cry for my mom who deserves more time.

Alek: hey pretty girl, everything fine?

I see his message but don't reply. I at this moment I dont want to do anything. I lay in bed staring numbly at my wall when I feel my phone vibrate.

Olivia. I let it go straight to voicemail. I get up and go to my parents room again to get Luna, my mothers cat and bring her into my room. I lay back down in bed and Luna snuggles against the crook of my neck. I eventually fell asleep and woke up to my phone vibrating.

It was alek and some messages from Olivia. I ignored them not being in the right mindset to talk to anyone, I just want to be with my mother. These are my last days with her.

:Sunday:

I stayed in my my moms room helping her get to the restroom and bringing her food. She talked to me about the future and I couldn't stand hearing her speak to me about it. How is someone ready to let go of their parent, to never see them again?

"Cara how's Aleksandr? Can you bring him over today and Dimitri as well I need to have a chat with them." I shook my head not wanting her to exhaust her self even more, she sighed and picked up her phone.

My eyebrows snapped together in confusion who is she calling. She sat up slowly and after a few rings I heard his voice. "Grace? Is everything alright." No everything is not fine, my heart is on the verge of shattering.

"Aleksandr I'm inviting you and Dimitri over today Cynthia and I need cheering up. I need to discuss with you something important." The line was quiet and then I can practically hear his smile. "I'd love to we'll be over in 20 minutes. Cynthia, answer my messages."

I got shivers hearing his voice how the hell does he know I'm here. My mother laughed and then pulled me to her chest and I relaxed in her arms soaking up her hugs for the last time.

Aleksandr arrived and I shut myself in my room. I'm not in the mood for visitors. I could hear his laughter around the house and I hate him for it. How can he be so happy when my world is crumbling down. There's a soft knock on my door and I get up to answer it, Dimitri is staring at me intently and I let him in.

"Your mother is dying isn't she." My eyes immediately water and he takes me by surprise when he hugs me, his hug felt safe but nothing compared to my Aleksandrs hug. "I'm sorry Cynthia." He rubbed my back and I heard a throat clear making me step back. Aleksandr was looking at both of us a strange look in his eye.

"Why are you crying?" I shook my head and walked over to my bed pulling my blanket over me but it got yanked away from me, my eyebrows snapped together and I looked at Aleksandr angrily.

"Get out of my room my mother invited you here, not me. I don't want to see or hear from you so do me a favor and get out." Hurt flashed in his eyes and I wanted to cry until I had no tears left.

"Dimitri why are we here? Let's go home." He looked at his brother and I breathed in a shaky breath. "My mom needs to talk to you both I don't know for what at least stay for her. Please" my voice cracked at the end and I hated how tired I sounded.

My face was cupped in his hands and I looked into his eyes that were full of worry.

"Cynthia what's wrong. What aren't you telling me." Some tears escaped my eyes and he wiped each one of them gently and then kissed me softly.

I hugged him tightly and his hug felt like he was shielding me from the world. " I just want to be left alone please." He nodded and left my room leaving me in silence.

I lay in bed curled up with Luna, when Aleksandr comes in with Dimitri. He looks sad and his eyes look red. "Cynthia I'm so sorry." I gave him a simple nod and resumed to pet Luna.

He sighs and turns my face towards him. " you won't shut me out Cynthia, I won't allow it. You and me? We can't be done before we even started. And I'm not leaving you ever." I nodded not believing him, eventually he'd get tired and leave.

Everyone leaves me it's only a matter of time. I rather save myself the heartbreak and push them away first. "I'm tired Aleksandr." He sighs but kisses my cheek and pulls the blanket over me. "I'll come back tomorrow, promise." They left and I broke down, he's too good for me.