I found you

[27] The past always comes back

"Akk, what happened here? What happened to your apartment?" Ayan asked, shocked to find the apartment in this condition. When he saw Ayan in the middle of the chaos, still in his school uniform, Akk got even more confused. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but closed it again, not knowing how to respond. And suddenly everything became distant again. Ayan's face became blurry and Akk could no longer see him clearly. He stood up, but it was as if his body was on autopilot, unaware of his surroundings. His thoughts were elsewhere.

"W-We n-need to stop...this..." Akk stuttered, but his voice also sounded distant, as if he wasn't actually saying it himself, but another part of him. "It's over now..."

Ayan looked at him with disbelief. "What are you saying? We can't stop now, Akk...We came so far...We can't back down now!" He said, shaken by Akk's statement.

"They have him..." Akk mumbled, more to himself, as if he didn't want to believe it, as if he was still processing the devastating news. "They have Yok...He is still alive...We need-"

"What? Who has Yok? Akk, you don't make sense..." Ayan became more anxious, seeing Akk talking to him so absentmindedly. "Are you okay, Akk? Did you got attacked? Are you injured somewhere?"

"No, you don't make any sense." Akk suddenly snapped, annoyed that Ayan didn't seem to listen to him. "I just said that we need to stop. Why don't you get it?"

"Akk, calm down and then we can figure things out." Ayan suggested, panic slowly overcoming him. But he tried his best to pull himself together. He couldn't break down now. Not in front of Akk, when he needed his help and support now. "Just tell me everything what happened, I will listen and try to understand. We will find a solution for all of this, together. Deal?"

Akk shook his head violently. He no longer understood anything. Nothing made sense to him. Why couldn't Aye try to understand him? He had just told him about Yok. Why did he still want to continue? Akk's ears rang unpleasantly again as the images of Yok from his nightmares came back to him, making him panic even more while he saw his older brother lying on the floor shaking, accusing him of giving up on him and eventually dissolving into the air. Akk couldn't let his brother down again. He had to stop this hopeless investigation.

With shaking hands, he handed Ayan the picture of Yok, as if that explained everything. Ayan's eyes widened as he recognized the boy's tattoos. And when he read the message on the back of the picture, his fearful expression turned to pure horror, especially when he noticed the signature. When he was finished, he stared at Akk with an incredulous look. "And you really believe that?"

"What?" Akk couldn't believe what he had just heard. "You don't believe me?"

"No, that's not what I meant." Ayan tried to explain calmly. "I meant if you really believe that they won't harm Yok and will just release him when we stop now. That doesn't make any sense..."

"What the fuck are you talking about, Aye! Are you even listening to yourself?" Akk almost screamed, panic finally overcoming him, and he could only see red in that moment. "We can't risk it! Yok is in danger and if we continue they will kill him! Don't you get it?"

"Akk, listen-"

"No, you listen to me! I won't continue this bullshit! I quit!" Akk could see how much the two last word had hit Ayan. Better like that. They needed to stop before it was too late.

"But you promised!" Ayan cried, desperately trying to find a solution before everything would go down. "You promised to stay by my side..." He reminded Akk weakly.

Akk was so irritated that Ayan would bring this to the conversation that he completely exploded. "They are now after my parents too! You can't expect me not to choose my own family! And I thought Yok was your friend! Don't you care about him at all?" Akk scoffed in disgust.

"How can you say that? Of course I care about Yok!" Ayan seemed to be devastated by those accusations against him. "But shouldn't this be a reason more to continue? To look out for him? Because they won't release him just because we stop. That's never gonna happen! Just think about it!"

Akk finally had enough. He forcefully grabbed Ayan by the collar and looked straight at him with fierce eyes. He could see the fear in Ayan's eyes as he tried to break free from Akk's strong grip, but to no avail. Akk couldn't stop now. He couldn't let Ayan continue. He would only put Yok in more danger if he continued. "I never thought you would be this heartless. Why do you even want to continue? Are you having so much fun playing detective or what?" Akk shouted in Ayan's face, making him cringe with every question. "What are you even doing here?"

The whole fight took a lot of energy out of Ayan and eventually he stopped resisting. He suddenly looked so small and fragile as he debated whether to say it.

"He's back..." Ayan finally managed to just whisper after a long, tense silence. "He is still alive..."

Akk already feared what was coming next. "Who is back?"

"My uncle..." Ayan whispered, defeated. "He just called me on my phone, telling me to stay alarmed because he will come after me..." Tears streamed down Ayan's face, utterly scared of the warning that his uncle might come back to haunt him again. "We can't stop, Akk...Not now, please...or else he might-" Ayan couldn't continue as he was choking on his sobs, finally breaking down from confessing.

When Akk found out the truth, it hit him like a blow. His heart sank into his stomach and he felt sick, immediately regretting having treated Ayan so harshly without even listening to his side. However, he didn't let go of Ayan. He still couldn't let Yok get hurt because of his recklessness. Akk could only imagine the pain and suffering his brother endured for over a year at the hands of the 'the god's hand'. And then Akk did something that he knew he was going to hate himself for it. But he needed to take advantage of Ayan's vulnerability.

"How do you know, that was your uncle? It could have been anyone, adjusting their voices." Akk pointed out, without any compassion in his voice. He couldn't let Ayan continue, he kept reminding himself.

Ayan's eyes widened in disbelief at Akk's statement. "Are you fucking kidding me right now? You're being so fucking ridiculous! You know that?" Ayan managed to get out through his choking sobs. "I could say the same about Yok, too. How can we know that it's not a random boy with fake tattoos?" Akk tightened his grip on Ayan's collar in anger.

"Don't you dare involve Yok in this nonsense!" Akk exclaimed. "I may be ridiculous but I can't let Yok get hurt...I can't let that happen...not again..." The screaming ended into painful whispers as Akk finally broke down crying, feeling completely exhausted and hopeless. "I'm sorry, Aye, but I can't go on like this..." Akk eventually loosened his grip and released Ayan, embracing him in a desperate hug, clinging tightly onto him as if his life depended on it. He was so scared of what was going to happen to all of them. Everything seemed to go downhill. Akk knew that this was probably the last hug with Ayan after hurting him and abandoning him again and he never wanted to let go.

"Akk, please let me go..." Ayan begged weakly. His tears were still falling down his cheeks as he tried to push Akk off him. But he had no energy left and Akk just clung to him even tighter, so after a short struggle he gave up, allowing Akk to cry on his shoulder. "You...you let me down again..."

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm so so sorry...I'm sorry...I'm really sorry...I'm so sorry..." Akk kept mumbling through his heart wrenching sobbing, not knowing who he was apologising to, while Ayan continued to gently stroke his back, patiently waiting for Akk to calm down.

"I think it's better if we go our separate ways from now on, Akk..."

Author's note
Happy new years, guys <3
I've finally uploaded the Sandray fic ^^
Please check it out if you're interested