The ImagiNation, Project Sekai || HOPE FOR A BRIGHTER FUTURE

CHAPTER 15 - Somebody Save Me...

"Yes, I have a brother. He's my father's son... he was born before Honoka and I. We saw him about to jump out of a window and I somehow stopped him from dying. Eventually we realized we were related." I explained to Emu quietly. I knew for a fact if my mother heard me talking about this to my friends or talking about it at all she would be furious.

Emu stayed silent for a little while. "Oh..." She finally said.

I started to tell her about how my parents fought. "My parents fight, a lot of the time my half brother's mother is brought up. It always makes the fighting worse... then Mommy comes and asks me and my sister whose at fault for the fight. If I say Daddy, she'll go and tell him everything is his fault when it isn't. It takes two to fight. If I say it's her fault, she'll say to my father: 'You turned them against me!' It's certain doom no matter what I say... no escape. We just have to wait it out. But I hate it!"

Both Emu and Rui tried comforting me when I began to cry, but the strength of everything I had pulling at my heart was too much for me to handle. I was tired of spinning in circles, nothing ever changes. I wanted my half brother to be okay, and I wanted my parents to stop fighting. I wished to have just one moment of peace.

Rui hugged me tight, like he always did. "You'll be alright. They aren't fighting right now, it's okay." He continued to try to make me stop crying.

My thoughts were racing, I felt terribly nervous. "They will more than soon enough! Please... I want to run away, at this point!!" I screamed shrilly. I wanted to run away from their fighting, from my mind, and my emotions. How I wished I could take the longest nap in the world!

Emu shrieked worriedly. "No! Don't run away from home, that's bad!" She told me in a panic.

Rui let go of me. "Where would you even run away to? Please don't do that, Setsuko." He said as he looked straight into my sad eyes.

"I could... I could run away to your house?" I suggested, uncertainty in my trembling voice.

Rui shook his head no at me. "いいえ。I won't let you do that." He told me with this serious look on his face, it was slightly intimidating.

Suddenly, I could hear my mother coming up the steps. I knew that she heard me talking about how her and Daddy fight. "Setsuko! Tell your little friends to leave already!!" She called angrily.

I grabbed the collar of Rui's shirt and tugged on it. "Pleeeaaase! Please take me away with you... please. I don't want to listen to them yell anymore!" I begged him, tears in my eyes. The fear I felt inside wouldn't stop growing.

I already heard the sound of Mommy yelling at Daddy downstairs.

Rui didn't know what to do, and I was concerning him. "Fine!" He blurted out in a panic. All he wanted was for me to feel better.

I dragged him downstairs with me. When we were heading to the back door my mother stopped us in our tracks.

"What are you doing?! I told you to tell your friends to leave!! Go to your room!" Mommy yelled at us.

Emu had already been long gone, all of the yelling scared her. Rui let go of my hand and quickly left the house, glancing back at me with a sad look on his face before closing the door behind him.

My mother was extremely angry. "YOU STILL LOVE THAT STUPID ASIAN ***** DON'T YOU!!?" She yelled at Daddy.

I ran up the stairs as fast as I possibly could. Sometimes I wondered if my parents hated eachother. Once I reached my room, I cried my eyes out. While I sobbed, I tried telling myself everything was fine and that I was okay. Once I finally believed that lie, I felt numb and empty inside of my soul.

Honoka came running into my room, she looked scared. "Setsuko! I heard you asking Rui to take you with him. Do you... really want to run away?" She asked, sitting down next to me on my bed.

My face was stuck in deadpan. I didn't feel anything, but in my mind I knew I was screaming for mercy, wondering when this waking nightmare would end. "Yes. I don't want to exist anymore. I want to disappear. I'll never get the peace and joy I so desire." Basically, I wanted to die. But I was never going to admit that. I was too scared to kill myself anyways.

Honoka was shocked at me for actually saying I wanted to run away. "What-- why?" I knew I was just making her even more stressed with my emotions, I felt bad for her.

"The fighting only stops if you leave, when you're gone you don't hear it. I want to run away not only from this place, but also my thoughts and emotions. I want to go home." I replied quietly. I didn't want Mommy or Daddy to hear me. But how would they even hear me over all of that shouting they were doing?

"I understand. I want to move out as soon as I can, but I don't want to run away... please don't leave." My sister pleaded.

Staring off into space, the only thing I heard was my screaming thoughts. They seemed to be much louder than my parents' screaming... I remember my thoughts being quieter before. "I don't like it here, I wanna go home!!" I sobbed, burying my face into my hands.

"I miss that old place too, Setsuko! Please don't be sad!" Honoka exclaimed. Her eyes were filling up with tears. 

It was almost like I hadn't heard her. "When will Jesus come and take us all away, when will this nightmare end?!" 

"I don't know!! Nobody does!" Honoka shouted before quickly walking out of my room. I had upset her.

After sitting on my bed and listening to my parents fight, I decided I would go down there and try to make them stop fighting. I zoomed down the stairs, and stood on the bottom step like an idiot. 

"You think I'm crazy! I need to take my crazy pills, right?" Mommy said before hitting herself on the head with her fists. "I'm crazy!" 

Daddy's facial expression didn't change, he still looked mad. My mother had done this before. "それを停止する。" He ordered. 

I regretted going downstairs so much, I wanted to go back to hiding in my room. But now I felt like I couldn't, and if I did something really bad would happen. 

My mother continued to hit herself on the head. "I don't speak gibberish!! I'm crazy!" She exclaimed. 

Daddy was even angrier. "I don't care. Shut the **** up." 

At that point I didn't trust either of them, and I ran back to my room and went to bed to the lovely sound of my parents yelling their lungs out at eachother. 

-

The next morning when Honoka and I woke up, we quickly got ready for school and left the house. Who knew when my mother would explode next? 

When I finally got to our classroom, I saw Rui standing outside of the door. "Oh, hi Rui." I smiled at him. 

Rui gave me a hug and a kiss. "Hello! Are you alright?" I'm more than sure he remembered how I begged him to take me away to his house. 

"Yeah, I'm okay. Don't worry about me." I reassured him. But deep down I was terrified of what would happen when I got home. 

"Ah, you know I'll never stop worrying about you. I love you" Rui said as he walked into the classroom.

Everyone had heard Rui say he loved me, and they were absolutely flabbergasted. The faces they were making were hilarious!

I smiled up at Rui. "I love you too!" I hugged him before sitting down at my desk. 

This only confused my classmates more. They were probably concerned for my mental health. At last, class started. For once I paid attention to what the teacher was saying because I was trying not to think about how my parents could be fighting back at home.