Chapter Eleven

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I found myself a bit confused. I always forgive Austin. Always. Even when he doesn't deserve it. I have no idea why. Could I actually be so in love with him that I can't think about us not being together. I guess I am afraid to lose him. We've been bestfriends for a while. I go to him with everything. He's my one and only. But, I'm just so afraid he's going to keep hurting me. I don't know what to do. After our little chat, Austin left yesterday. Today is a brand new day. I made sure to wake up before everyone else, meaning my father. I wanted to have time to myself. Some peace and quiet. I can finally hear myself think. I think today I'll be alone. I don't want to hang out with anyone, I'll just be...me. I'll have my first "me" day in a long time.

*Bing* (1) New Message From: Austin <3

Oh, fantastic. I opened it.

Austin <3: Hey babee ;)

Me: Hey.

Austin <3: You've gotta hang out with everybody today! It's a "crew" day.

No. It's a "Me" Day.

Me: No, it's a me day today.

Austin <3: Babe! Did you forget? Today is the day I'm flying back to Florida.

Those words killed me inside. I can't believe I forgot. The time has flown by too fast. This is nuts. Holy fudgeballs.

Me: I was just testing you (: You passed! Of coarse I'm chilling with ya'll today ;3 What time & where?

Austin <3: Nice save babe...Alex's NOW! See you soon. I love you baby <3

Me: Yeah...soon. Love you too. <3

Way sooner than I thought. Damn it! My me day turned into a we day. Everytime! I have to get dressed and head over there. I need to see him before he goes.

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"Alex! I'm here!" I shouted as I shut the front door. << ;)

"Hey, come upstairs." He shouted back.

That's exactly where I was going. I headed to Alex's room. I just walked in since the door was open. The crew was all there, including Jackie and Sarah.

"Hey babe." Austin pecked me on the lips and hugged me around my waist.

"Hi." I said.

"So...what are we doing?" I asked.

"Just chillin here until Austin's gotta go to the airport." Alex said.

"Oh." My face fell.

I sat inbetween Sarah and Jackie on the floor. This is hitting me like a ton of bricks. I'm going to miss my boyfriend. He's my world. I'm also worried about him going back to his old ways when I'm not around. I can't really trust him. Incase you haven't noticed it's hard to.

"Aw, cheer up girly. You'll see him soon." Jackie nudged me.

"Yeah, just enjoy your time with him right now." Sarah added.

They're right. But, I'm not wrong. I don't know if I can trust him. Is our long distance relationship even worth the hurt it could bring? Should we just go back to being best friends and nothing more? I mean, I don't know how much pain I can handle. Maybe it is better if we're just friends.

"When do you leave for the airport?" I asked.

"In about an hour." He replied uneasy.

"Austin, I need to talk to you...alone." I sighed.

Everyone's gaze turned to me, in worried expressions.

"Okay." He didn't seemed as worried as everyone else.

We stepped outside the door.

"What's up babe?" He asked.

My face turned. My stomach flopped. I couldn't...but, I had to.

"Austin...I-I don't think that we can-"

"-Please don't tell me you're about to break up with me after all that we've been through. Just because it's a long distance relationship." He looked down at me.

Tears were stinging my eyes. I held them back.

"Yeah, I am." I whispered.

I coulde barely trust my voice.  He tightened his jaw. I began looking at the ground.

"Don't do this." He said.

"I have to, I-I'm sorry." I said.

My heart ached so bad. I literally felt like I was breaking.

"Mary, we can do this. If you'd just give me a chance." He held my hands as he looked into my eyes.

I need to be a women and suck it up.

"Austin, I think it's better if we just stayed friends." I choaked out.

His mouth shaped into a frown. "Baby, please. I'm begging you."

"I'm sorry Austin. Just know that I'll always love you." I smiled to brighten the mood.

It just seemed like the day just kept getting worse.

He cleared his throat. "Well, I guess it's your decision. So, I mean whatever. Then we'll stay friends."

"Good." My voice cracked.

I can't hold my tears in any longer. Why did I do this.

"Babe?" He lifted my chin up.

"I have to go. But, always know that I love you." I pushed him away.

I blinked my tears away. I ran down the stairs. I took a deep breath. My mind was racing. I got into my car. I pulled my seatbelt over my chest and clicked it. I looked down at my phone. I scrolled through my contacts.

Austin <3 Has been deleted.

I dropped my phone into the passenger seat. I backed out of the driveway. I didn't know where I was going or what I was doing. My mind was totally jumbled. I felt so discombobulated. I couldn't seem to focus or organize my thoughts. I couldn't believe I just did that. I felt my lungs tighten up. My grip on the wheel weakened. I was stuggling to catch my breath. I couldn't focus at all now. I knew what was happening now.

I'm having a panick attack.

I did the only thing I knew to do in order to save my life. I pushed the break and the car came to a short stop. I felt a strong force push into the side of the car. That's when the dots starting to form in my vision. Everything was blurry.

Just then it all went black.

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A/N: Is she okay? What just happened? Sorry I haven't updated in ages. I love you guys. Remember keep the comments coming or no more storytime (: Dedication to first commenter. I love you lovlies <3 You're my motivation! I'll update again soon as long as  I get some comments.

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