LOVE ME NOT || Bang Chan Soulmate au

19. Zombie

     "Are you good, Lix?" I asked.

     Felix nodded and then shook his head quickly. "Oh my gosh, I swear if you hadn't come, I would've just given up and played in traffic or something."

     He looked at the closed door the woman exited through, biting his lip. "It's like as soon as she started speaking I forgot that languages existed."

     I ruffled his hair. "You poor thing," I teased.

     "Stop it!" Felix complained, trying to shoo my hands away from his head.

     "Why would I do that?"

     "Because there's brownies in the fridge?"

     I stopped. "Food, you say?"

     Felix messed with his hair before grinning widely, his eyes turning to little crescents. "Yea! There's a pan in the fridge that I brought in this morning. I made them for you."

     My eyebrows knit in confusion as I turned away from the door to the kitchen to meet his eyes. "For me?" I asked. "Why would you make them for me?"

     He wiped his hands down his apron. "I thought they would cheer you up after being so sick. At least now you're getting better!"

     The way his smile lit up his entire face at the end of the sentence almost made my own face break out into a grin.

     Then I actually listened.

     And I felt the guilt start to eat me alive.

     When did I become a person made of lies?

     I felt like all I do every day is dodge and joke and distract. I wasn't getting better, the only thing I was better at was lying. Saying I didn't have a soulmate. Letting them believe I didn't know the boy who rejected me like I didn't see him everyday. Everything was so heavy. My chest hurt like the petals had become weights in my lungs.

     Before, I couldn't lie.

     Now, I couldn't seem to stop.

     I crushed the fabric of my apron in my hands, smiling and nodding as I pushed down the guilt. Felix and Minho still didn't know.

     They didn't know that a week ago, I died.

     "You can't keep doing this."

     Seungmin's voice was low as sat beside me, our backs against the headboard of the bed. Light seeped in through the thin curtains, painting the room in pale blue. My knees were tucked up to my chest, face buried so I wouldn't have to look at the boy beside me.

     Seungmin took a deep breath. "You can't hide what's going forever," he said.

     I shakily exhaled. I already knew that, and I didn't want to be told again. Seungmin sighed when I wouldn't answer.

     "Was that your plan?" He asked. "Did you think if you pushed it down, acted like it didn't bother you it would disappear? That's not how infections work."

     I squeezed my eyes shut, pulling my legs closer to my chest.

     "I told you to tell me if you got worse. I can't—I can't help you if you won't tell me what's going on. I don't know how to treat things when my patient doesn't tell me their symptoms. I'm doing this blind, Haewon."

     The room was so quiet I could hear movement in the rest of the apartment, quiet talking from the other side of the door. This was the conversation I wanted to avoid, but I couldn't avoid it anymore. I was cornered, weak, unable to run away.