LOVE ME NOT || Bang Chan Soulmate au

23. Truth Untold

I don't know why I expected to have a perfect time with absolutely no problems when I decided to run away with Chan, but I know I hadn't even thought of this as a possibility.

I rested my head against the cold bathroom wall, holding onto the counter as the world spun. I was overly hot, and the way the bathroom was starting to look like a kaleidoscope made my stomach turn. I didn't have a lot of time to fix this. Chan had gone to the register to order so I had to make it back to our table and look normal before he got back.

Easy peasy.

I grabbed a paper towel, wetting it under the faucet before putting it on the back of my neck, determined not to pass out. I probably had a fever, but that was normal now. There was also a pain in my chest that wouldn't seem to stop, even as I pressed my hand hard against it.

     I opened one eye to the empty bathroom. Why was I so hot? This couldn't be good.

     Then I felt the petals come up my throat.

     I rushed to a stall, a little off balance and banging my elbow into the open door. I didn't have time to curse at the pain because my head was already over the toilet, throat burning as my stomach forced everything up. Bile, petals, and blood were the only things that filled the basin. I dry heaved, nothing else left because I couldn't keep anything down.

     Breathing heavily, I sat against the side of the stall, trying not to cry. If I cry, Chan will definitely notice something's wrong. I feel so weak, and I can tell I'm sweating now as my hair felt like it stuck to my skin. My makeshift pass-out cloth was gone, lost somewhere between the sink and the toilet in my panic. Everything was falling apart.

     My hands shook as I buried my face in them. I took breaths in and out, but with every one I took I could feel the petals rattle in my lungs. At this point, I'm starting to feel like one of those machine they use for bingo.

     I looked over at the sink, sniffling a few times to stop the tears from coming out my eyes. Slowly, my hand reached for the phone in my pocket, debating what to do. My finger paused over the call button, dread filling me before I shut off the phone and put it away. If I call Seungmin, today is over. Chan and I just got here, to the same street market we used to go to every day after school. I haven't been here in a while, especially not with Chan. And he was so happy on the way over as he talked about all we could do. I wasn't going to ruin that for him. And, this was my one day to throw all caution to the wind. Calling Seungmin to come get me would end all of that, even if I was sick.

     I held onto the toilet paper dispenser to force myself to stand, slightly wobbly on my legs.  I flushed the toilet, watching the mixture of petals and blood turn the water pink as it disappeared. I took a deep breath, carefully walking back over to the sink and immediately washing out my mouth.

     When I looked up, everything froze.

     The last time I looked into a mirror, I looked okay.

     Now, I looked like I was sick.

     My skin was pale, absent of color except for the part around my eyes which was flushed with an unhealthy red. There were dark circles under my eyes, standing out against my red cheeks. My eyes were tired looking, refusing to open fully. My lips were pale too and my hair stuck to my neck. I needed to fix this before Chan noticed.

     I immediately turned on the faucet and started splashing my face with the cold water.

     There was no make up to be worried about as I continuously covered my face in water, trying to scrub the image of myself in the mirror from my mind. That's not me. That couldn't be me. I was taking the injections now, why did I look so bad?