LOVE ME NOT || Bang Chan Soulmate au

3. Insomnia

     I don't think I ever slept.

     It was funny. Faced with the reality of my worst nightmare, all I could do was stare silently at the shadows dancing across the carpet. I couldn't even cry. I just felt like my head was completely hollow, except for one, tiny thought.

     When?

     The entire day kept repeating itself in my eyes. Dodging and sneaking through classrooms until Felix found me. Minho's threat. The little pink petal.

     When did it happen?

     I had been so careful. I had made a plan. I was going to stick to the plan. I wasn't going to get sick.

     When did we touch?

     Classrooms. Felix. Minho. Petal. There had to be some moment, something I'm missing. Something I'm completely tripping over that will wake me up in the middle of the—

     I fell.

     I pulled the blanket closer around myself, the light from the moon and the plastic stars on the ceiling glimmering as I just stared blankly ahead.

     I fell.

     Knees pressed to my chest, I hugged my legs tightly. Of course. It was obvious now. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have messed up the plan I had created so easily and without any second thought?

     I fell, and when Chan offered his hand, I took it.

     The action had been so easy. It was such a normal reaction that it didn't even register in my mind. My hand had touched his for maybe two seconds, but it was enough. In his kindness, Chan had spelled out my doom, and I had jumped into it head first.

     A small cough tore me from my thoughts, my hand not fast enough to cover my mouth. I opened my eyes and just stared. Falling through the air was a pink petal, almost as small as the first. It drifted as if caught in its last waltz, floating around the room until it slowly landed on my carpet. I stared at the pink thing, almost lost in a sea of lavender, with my face blank and my stomach filled with an emotion I couldn't describe.

     This was it, wasn't it?

     It was ironic really. How could something so small do so much damage? It was a petal. It was a single, freaking petal. And here I was, feeling more dread about it than last week's calculus test I forgot to study for.

     I slowly stood up, still holding the blanket around my shoulders. Softly padding across the pale purple rug, I crouched down and gently lifted the petal. The pink seemed to glow in the moonlight from the window, and despite the situation I laughed. I've always had a problem laughing in bad situations anyway, and now I was laughing at my own omen. The whole situation just seemed unreal. I almost imagined that I could just blink once and I would be back to the day of the procedure, realizing that this was all just a bad dream.

     But no amount of blinking could get the petal to disappear from my hand.

I straightened my legs, gently cradling the petal in my hands and walking towards the bathroom. I flicked on the light, immediately walking over to the sink and dropping the petal into the basin. I turned on the faucet and watched as the small, delicate pink was torn into shreds.

Gripping the sides of the counter, I hesitantly looked up, scared yet curious to see what I looked like. Was the sickness already noticeable? Would the boys be able to tell? I raised my head and met my own eyes.

I looked....normal.

My hair was still in the braid I had put it in after my shower, small black wisps framing my face. My eyes looked okay, not counting the exhausted circles that seemed to be built into my skin by now. My face even had color, delicate pink dotting across my cheeks. I looked fine.