~~~Superstes~~~UNDERGOING MAJOR EDITING

For a while.

He pressed his lips together and looked away. "I can't say it." 

"Spider, you know me, and I know you. I care about you, kid. Don't forget that." 

"Why didn't you come get me when I was taken, Jake?" 

I felt even more guilty now. I couldn't just assume he forgot about it. If I were him, I'd be asking questions to. "I wanted to, I really did, but I just had too much to risk, and I knew the RDA wouldn't kill you. It was safer at the time to just leave you there. I am sorry, Spider."

He nods. "I understand. Was...was Kiri upset?" 

I eyed him. "Yeah. She was very upset. You mean a lot to her, kid." 

His cheeks turn pink. By now, we reached the mauri. I lifted the tent's wall up for him to go into. Luckily, we had a smaller hammock for Tuk, but it wasn't being used so I told Spider to hop into that and he did, quite clumsily, but he managed to stay balanced. 

                                                                                       ~~~   

In the morning, when I woke up, nobody was awake. Which was unusual, because typically the kids are up and bounding off the walls at the crack of down. But on this morning, I didn't expect them to wake up for another couple hours, maybe even until the evening. Neytiri was up, though--she was repairing her arrows outside the mauri, deep in thought. 

I left the dim light of the interior and sat next to her, my body protesting with every move. I was going to be sore for the rest of my life. "Hey," I greeted, and she smiled softly, nodding at me. 

"Jake," she uttered, facing her head to the slowly rousing camp. "I finally got a full night's sleep, after fifteen years of endless, wakeful nights." 

I chuckled. "Me, too." I noticed the light in her expression, like she'd just been released from captivity after years of torture. The aspect about her was brilliant, gleaming, and polished. She looked...refreshed, maybe relieved. Probably both.

Then Neytiri turned back to me, head cocked and smiling.  "Can you believe this? He is gone, we won't have to worry about him. Our children are safe, Jake." She grinned like she was a toddler receiving a sweet candy. "We can live in peace now."

"Yeah. Peace." I started to think about all the things we had sacrificed to get to this point. Our home, my leadership, Neytiri's mother, Tarsem, Neteyam's future and Lo'ak's training. Kiri's apprenticeship with Neytiri and Mo'at, followed by Tuk's. Or their succeeding as warriors or hunters--any position they gave up moving to the reef. "We've still got a lot of cleaning up to do." I pictured Neteyam shouting in my face, "And I have some apologies to make." 

Neytiri's smile faded. "Apologies? MaJake, what happened?" 

"Oh, you know. Our eldest son yelling at me for ignoring our second son, stuff like that." I sighed and rested my elbows on my knees, "I didn't fix anything, really." 

Neytiri leans forward to stare at me intently. "I thought you spoke with Neteyam--at the gathering." 

"I did, but I didn't do it right. I basically told him he didn't have to watch his siblings for the night." 

"What else?" 

"He cried, and I hugged him. That was it. It wasn't a real conversation--I'd asked him why he was upset, and he just said he loved me. I should have said more after that--like how I was proud of him and Lo'ak, and that they didn't disappoint me." At times.  

"You should tell them that," Neytiri suggests, "when they wake up." 

To be honest, the idea didn't sit quite right with me. What would they say? How would I get those words out? I was never good with apologies. The only person I'd ever apologized to was my brother when we were kids, and I'd just come in his room with food. Other than that, I haven't verbally apologized to anyone since. Not a real one, anyway.