Record of Wrongs

Chapter 25.

Arielle

I held Jax's hand as we walked up the road back to the barn. Our date had gone a lot better than expected, and I felt much more at ease with him now. I know it was all still fresh but it felt terrific to reintroduce the romantic aspect of our relationship back into our lives.

Jax seemed just as happy as I was as he interlocked our fingers. He kept sneaking glances over at me and had this smug look on his face. I could hardly maintain eye contact as I kept looking away from his stare.

"Jackson quit looking at me," I said playfully.

"I can't help it, I just want to make sure you're real."

My eyebrows rose and I stopped walking, a cheeky smile spread on my lips. "You don't think I'm real?" I asked.

Jax chuckled softly and placed his hands on my hips, "That's not what I meant Darlin'. I know you're real, I just can't convince myself that this is real, you and me. I feel like if I look away for too long you won't be standing next to me when I look back."

I looked down, suddenly embarrassed. There was a flutter in my stomach, like a million butterflies were dancing around in there. I hadn't felt this way in a long time, and surprisingly, the feeling wasn't as scary as I thought it would be.

I knew it was going to take some time to rebuild trust back into our relationship, but I could at least envision our life together again. I had trouble picturing our life together before, but now with Jax's reassurance, I felt confident that this could work this time around.

"It's getting pretty late," I said, my voice coming out in barely a whisper. My eyes were still glued to Jax's lips, and I couldn't force myself to look away. I wanted him to kiss me, and from the looks of it, he knew.

Jax held me gently in his arms and slowly leaned forward. I began to do the same until our lips touched in the most delicate kiss I'd ever received. It wasn't how he usually kissed that was for certain. Jax was usually confident and dominating, this kiss wasn't that and I knew he was holding back from me.

"What's wrong?" I asked pulling away from him.

Jax looked confused, "What do you mean? Did I do something wrong?"

"You just seem like you're holding back from me."

"Oh," Jax looked embarrassed and rubbed his hand on the back of his neck. "Don't you want this?" I asked hesitantly. I didn't want to come off as needy but I was under the impression that both of us wanted the same thing.

"Of course I do!" Jax said loudly. He let out a huff and tried to compose himself, "Ari, you don't know how bad I want you, how bad I've wanted this. I just don't want to push you to do something you're not ready for."

I studied Jax's face as the sunset highlighted his features. He's been so patient with me ever since our therapy session, and that made him all the more attractive to me. I wanted this just as much as he did, but I knew that he'd never take the first step.

So, with every ounce of courage I had left in my body, I reached up to kiss him. He let me do it, of course, and his arms instantly wrapped around my waist. He pressed me closer to him as he got more comfortable with the contact, and before I knew it, our light kisses had become hot and heavy.

His mouth was hungry on mine and I lost the ability to process a clear train of thought. My fingers instantly went up to his hair, and I ran my fingers through his gelled blonde locks. It was soft, which was odd considering its stiff appearance, but I didn't mind as I tugged gently on it to get him to open his mouth wider.

Jax scooped me up by my thighs and wrapped my legs around his hips. I knew where this was going and I should've been mortified that it was going to happen outside, but every ounce of hate I had for PDA vanished from my body when I heard the sound of his monstrous belt buckle.

We were panting hard and loud as our clothes were shoved and tugged in every direction. I felt desperate and needy, and every time his mouth pulled away from mine, I retrieved it with a whine. Any loss of contact left me cold and there was nothing that satisfied me more than the warmth I get from feeling him near.

He planted his hand near my head against the barn wall, while the other held me up. My legs wrapped tightly around him as he lets out soft moans against my chest.

He seemed so vulnerable in this moment, and his soft whimpers propelled me to take over. I hardly ever took control before because Jax was an expert compared to me. I enjoyed every time we were together but I've always allowed him to take the lead. However, now with his eyes glazed over and his shaky breathing, I'm almost upset I've let him have all the fun for so many years.

"Ari," was the only thing I heard before he became completely undone. I followed shortly after because seeing him in such disarray pushed me to reach my release.

We were breathing hard as soft kisses were being shared with soft giggles to match. "I can't believe I just did that," I said slowly coming back to reality.

"That was so hot," Jax said breathlessly. I laughed out loud at his comment because our reactions to the situation were so different. Here I was worried about being seen and he was nowhere near as worried as I was.

He slowly put me down and we began to collect ourselves. The kids would be going to bed soon and I knew that Abel would want to see both of us before he went to sleep.

"We have to go back," I said while wrapping my arms around Jax's neck. Jax groaned, "Do we have to?" he asked playfully before moving in to kiss me again.

This time, he was much more confident, and as much as I wanted to escape with him again, we were parents.

"Well...I know how comfortable the floor has been for you, and I'm sure the wood in the house will feel very nice with some flimsy blankets..."

"But..." Jax said with a smile that matched my own.

"But, if you're up to it, then I have a free spot in my bed. If you're willing to take it."

Jax's face lit up at the invitation, "lead the way Darlin'," he said as he threw an arm over my shoulder.

We walked together into the house that was dimly lit. All the kids had managed to go to sleep before we came back except for Abel, who was wide awake with his favorite book in hand.

Jax and I shared a look as Abel invited himself into the room and planted himself in between us on the bed. I read the book front and back as Jax acted like my sound effect guy for any animal noises I ran across in the book.

Abel laughed and giggled at his father's impersonations until he was too tired to stay awake. Jax then removed him from the bed and went to go place him in the bed in the other room.

I was excited when he returned and practically ran into the bed at high speed toward me. He cuddled up next to me in the bed and wrapped his body around me like a koala bear. I was drunk with laughter as he whispered dumb, cheesy things into my ear that caused me to laugh with tears in my eyes.

It felt good to be like this again, I didn't think it'd be possible after everything that's happened. But one thing was for certain, Jax was sincere about doing right by me this time, and I'm going to hold him to that promise. I just hope he follows through this time.