LOVE ME NOT || Bang Chan Soulmate au

18. Save Me

What if it's a love letter?

My eyes snapped up from where I had been resting my hands on the top of his computer chair. What if it was a love letter? It could be. I could see Chan getting love letters, he's gotten them before. I mean, look at him! But who could it be? No, I shouldn't even ask that question. Who else could it be?? My hand itched to grab the note, but I knew it was wrong. I wanted to rip it to pieces. I want to not rip it to pieces. I want to read it. I'm scared to read it. I wanted it simultaneously out of my sight and in my hand.

I was frozen.

I didn't know what to do.

What if he—

I reached forward and grabbed the slip of paper, eyes scanning over the inside.

Thank you for last time, I had so much fun with you! I hope you like the gifts, they're not much but I wanted to give you something. Anyways, I'll see you next Tuesday!!
Love, Ivy

I stared at the words on the paper, written in pink ink and neat Hangul. It was obvious she spent a lot of time getting everything correct, the note was almost too perfect.

But I couldn't get past the 'Love'.

How long ago did he get this? When was Friday? Which Tuesday was it? Did Chan ever respond? Did this tiny little note lead to the two of them sitting down for dinner that night? Was this a 'thank you' for after it? And why did he keep it??

I put the note down, placing it back like how I found it. Chan probably wouldn't notice a thing but I didn't want to take any chances. The guilt was already eating away at me for looking through his stuff, I didn't need a confrontation.

Running hand down my face, I struggled to breathe past the strange thickness in my throat. I should have never read the note. Now my head was driving me insane and giving me an bigger headache than I had before. I'm such an idiot.

My legs felt like lead as I forced myself to walk away from his desk and away from the note, moving toward the bathroom door. I could already feel my limbs getting tired. I glanced over at Chan's bed. I could take a nap, but I did just wake up?

My head argued that it didn't matter.

Walking into the bathroom, I jumped as my eyes caught onto my reflection.

I looked awful.

And not in the usual 'I look like I've been hit by a truck in the morning' type of way.

No.

If anything, I look like I've been hit by a plane.

My skin was pale, almost pasty looking, as I reached a finger up to touch my cheek. There were dark shadows under my eyes, a dark purple color that contrasted against my pale skin. Add that to my hair, which had been in a ponytail and had completely fallen out, and I looked like a ghost.

     I looked fragile.

I looked sick.

My fingers fumbled as I reached for the drawer I knew Chan kept for me, grabbing a hair band and tying my hair up. Sticking a toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly filled my hands with water and splashed it on my face. I couldn't look sick, I couldn't! It would expose everything I've been trying to hide. Right now, Chan thinks I have a cold, but what happens when I never get better?