16 June 2015 | 5:18 a.m
~losing fight~
what have I done to my life ?
clawing and biting for what I
want and not simply reaching for it.
I dig at the ground I stand on
just to get a nights rest.
urging myself to stop but
the feeling provides a high I
can't help but hunger for more.
that high the leads me on
and goes away after several aching
and heart wrenching minutes.
my heart has sunk down
to my stomach which has flattened due
to lack of eating.
I haven't eaten in almost two days
I don't know what's wrong.
everything is nice around me but
I still have this agony deep inside.
a thing wanting to come out I just
can't point what it is.
it's a urning to be better and
grander then the rest.
I can't prove much but I will
make the best of it.
my positivity has increased since
last I spoke about what's happening.
my outlook on life has changed since
I've changed.
every chance goes by for my opportunity to show what I have
but instead I cower into
my keratin she'll and
remain there until safe.
no one knows why do this and
no one cares to understand.
I feel that urge come up again
what I am doing is not to be
let out.
I'm not myself anymore.
I'm something dark and
unreal to most.
help is all I seek but
I recover by myself through
time.
time can mend those who
wait.
~
{I'm naming my poems now, but, for now on. I'm just going to use this book at a journal, only. If you're not interested in my problems then don't read anymore, thanks. lots of love xx }
YOU ARE READING
writing dreams
Poetry*trigger warning* just a book of my bipolar thoughts and feelings {lower case is intentional through out the book} ~ Gabi xx
