Hiyori kept staring at the ceiling while a half naked Satoru slept by her side in her bed.
She kept thinking and thinking if what had happened between the two of them was actually real.
She felt happy but at the same time conflicted.
What did it mean?
They were both not in a relationship, was there anything behind those actions.
She did have something, but what about him?
Was that really Satoru's feelings?
Or was it not.
No words were said during and after the act, but feelings spoke louder than any sounds made.
Hiyori was sure it was Satoru's genuine feelings, and she knew that they both wanted each other.
And that thought gave her a smile, a kind of reassurance.
She smiled as she faced the sleeping Satoru who was handsomely striken by the gentle moonlight. She gently caressed his face and lovingly stared at him.
"H-...Hi..."
Hiyori smiled because she recognized the sound of her name so she went closer to hear him clearly.
And that was such a mistake.
A nightmare.
A heart wrenching sound came out of his mouth.
A name she never thought would ruin her and break her world.
"Hina....Stay"
Tears quickly fell from her eyes and.
Was all that nothing?
Did he ever want her?
Did he ever feel anything for her?
What about their promises?
Grow old together?
It was so painful she wanted to scream.
And so she had to flee from the security of her own home, not just the house she lives in, the room they were currently in, but also to the person she thought was her safe place.
**********
A desperate knock was heard from Suguru's door waking him up from his deep slumber.
Confused, he looked at the time which indicated that it was still 4am and he was just asleep for at least 3 hours.
But still the knocking didn't stop.
As soon as he opened the door, he was surprised to see the woman at such a state.
Hiyori's face full of tears and her eyes look so tired and only thin clothes were shielding her from the cold weather, her feet looked numb as she didn't wear any kind of foot wear.
He pulled her inside, closed the door and pulled her for an embrace.
" WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO YOU!" as if all the sleep was now gone, he trembled in anger.
"sugu....." her voice quivered as she hugged back.
"Sugu...Suguuuu......" she cried hard enough to make Suguru feel hurt by her breaking voice.
And he stayed silent as she finished taking out her pain in his embrace.
Her voice was harsh and her eyes were so puffy, once her crying had stopped. Suguru led her to the couch where he served her a hot beverage to fight against the cold air of the morning.
He sat in front of her with a serious face.
"What happened?"
Hiyori stayed silent.
"Hiyori tell me, or else I'll beat it out of Satoru"
Hiyori looked up at his statement.
"How do you even know that it has something to do with him?" came her hoarse reply.
"No one can make you cry so hard like this except him Hiyori.....so tell me now"
Hiyori stared at him and can tell he was really upset too. So she looked down at the hot chocolate in her hands and reminded herself not to cry some more.
She then started to speak and tell him about what had happened between her and Satoru just hours ago.
*****
"I.....I thought that meant something Sugu" her eyes welling up again from the conflict within her thoughts.
"I thought he wanted me....I thought we were finally back to how we used to......I thought he would want ME to stay....He wanted ME.....not Hina"
Suguru could only look at her with pity. He also really thought the same. He thought that finally, Satoru was gonna notice Hiyori. But oh how wrong were they.
"I'm sorry Hiyori...I .....I never thought something like this would happen"
Hiyori laughed sarcastically as she thought the same.
"We both did.....maybe it was just some hopeless thoughts....and I could never have him back" Hiyori said in a bitter whisper.
"I don't even know what to do anymore. I...I don't even think that I'll be able to face him, let alone see him. "
"Well...you don't have to if you want to"
Hiyori looked up to Suguru curios of what he meant.
"What do you mean? He's currently at my house, sleeping on my bed while talking about a girl that's not me....moreover, We attend the same school and most likely paired up for some missions"
Suguru just laughed at her statement.
"I was gonna suggest about just transferring to Kyoto or just leave this fucking country but I had second thoughts"
"You're right, it would be easier for me to do that....but I can't just go back to Kyoto, it still hunts me....and I can't leave this the country without being threatened by the higher ups"
"So we don't really have a choice but to put up with Satoru...I know it's gonna be hard, but you'll have me by your side" Suguru assured with a genuine smile.
Hiyori felt touched from his genuineness, it was really different from how Satoru would treat her. She knew that the two males were closer than she is with Suguru but Suguru still chose to side with her.
"Come on, it's still early we don't have anything to do this day anyway so you can take your rest."
Hiyori silently agreed as Suguru led her to one of his spare rooms and left her after making sure that she was comfortable before going back to his own room.
' You really fucked up big time ' a message to the white haired man who was now sitting up on Hiyori's bed just staring off the distance.
As soon as he got the message, he bit his lip knowing that he really did.
He wanted to leave. But Hiyori's lingering scent on the sheets were keeping him from leaving.
All he did was just plop down the bed with a sigh and then inhaling the smell of her pillows.
He bit his lip and balled up his fist trying to get his self together.
"I know what I did Suguru...........
fuck"
And a tear ran down his cheek.
YOU ARE READING
Hate How Much I Love You//Gojo Satoru
Fanfiction"Why didn't you tell me?" "I tried....You rejected my love before I even got the chance to do it" °°°°°°°°° A secret that was never meant to be revealed and children with bright futures was all Hanna Hiyori have to keep herself from falling apart. F...
