21 - Holds No Merit

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I was sitting with my mother and Emilia having breakfast at my mother's apartment. She lived with Eudoria long enough, she said she missed her own place.

"So where is Sherlock this morning?" Beatrice asked as MJ started crying from where he was playing on the floor. I went and picked him up to give Emilia a small break.

"He is working a case with Enola. She came and got him this morning." I answered bouncing MJ.

"And you think that's all he's doing?" Emilia asked.

"Of course, it is, he wouldn't lie to me." I said.

"He has before." Beatrice said.

"Yes mother, months ago but have talked everything out and everything is getting better, and we are working on Irene leads together." I said.

"Well as long as you two are working together. I would hate to see you separate." Beatrice said. I looked at her oddly then audibly sighed looking at Emilia.

"You told her about what I told you in confidence?!" I asked raising my voice. I had talked to Emilia about my concerned between Sherlock and I and my thoughts on leaving him. MJ started to whimper at the sudden tension. I started bouncing him and he calmed down as Emilia shrugs.

"I was worried about you both! I mean you and Sherlock have been through so much I would hate for this to break you." Emilia said.

"Emilia I was shot by the woman, if that didn't break us -..."

"It did break you!" Beatrice snapped and I looked at my mother confused.

"What are you talking about?" I asked setting MJ back down.

"You have not been the same person in the time of getting shot by Irene than you were before. You used to be so confident and strong. You got shot and now you cower down, got married to a man who...let's face it shocked us all that you two even courted and now you depend on him even with all the lying he had done. You have been in the most danger of your life being with Sherlock. Not to mention your change on your life choices and children." Beatrice explained causing silence from me and as I just took in everything she was saying. She placed breakfast on the table, but I stood up.

"I think I'm going to go." I said and Beatrice groaned.

"No come on, I wanted to see you, have breakfast with you."

"Yeah, so you could question my life and bash my husband as well. Sherlock is my husband yes and maybe makes questionable decisions but out of all the husbands we were all married to he is the best." I said. I then clamped my mouth shut realizing what I said and how much it had to hurt each woman. I knew my mother had no say in my father dying when I was 10. Emilia's husband on the other hand, I wasn't too sad he was dead.

There was silence and I groaned.

"Listen, that was out of line, and I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sure in everyone's own right they were great men. I don't remember much of my father, and I never really understood or knew Mycroft. I just wish everyone would believe Sherlock now. We talked, we worked everything out and I'm still my own person and make my own decisions." I vented.

Before anything else could be said I placed a hand on my stomach and over my mouth. I ran to the bathroom and deposited everything from my stomach. This had happened recently, and I wasn't sure as to why, I guessed the flu, but I thought I was feeling better. Once I left the bathroom my mother looked at me.

"Are you okay?" She asked and I shook my head.

"I think I would just rather go home..." I said and she nodded. She kissed my cheek and Emilia kissed it as well. I walked out of my mother apartment knowing the carriage would be outside waiting like it always was. As I reached the reached the bottom on the steps, I heard someone coming down and I looked to see Sherlock coming down the steps. I stopped and looked at him, crossing my arms and shaking my head.

"It's not what you think..." Sherlock said, and I groaned leaving the apartment building and he followed.

"Helping Enola?! You told me you were helping Enola today! Yet I find you leaving what can only assume was Watson's apartment. What do you mean it's not what I think Sherlock?!" I asked and he sighed as went to get in the carriage but stopped.

"I am helping Enola. The case she had taken on is something Watson and I had something similar to years ago and I was seeing if he still had the case notes." Sherlock said holding up the file and I shook my head again.

"I just want to go home." I said and the driver opened the carriage door and Sherlock helped me in and then got in himself.

"I thought you were having breakfast with your mother and Emilia." Sherlock said and I groaned.

"It took a turn, and I would just rather leave." I said looking out the carriage window and Sherlock growled and took my hand.

"Portia..." He urged me to continue.

"They questioned me. Saying I haven't been the same person since I got shot. Saying I was a coward and depended solely on you. That I was in more danger now than I ever have been." I explained.

Sherlock didn't say anything, but I saw him clench his fist that was not over my hand. He was refusing to say anything I didn't know what that even meant. I didn't know if he agreed or not. He was silent, clenching his jaw.

Halfway home I knocked on the carriage wall.

"Please stop!" I yelled and he did. I barely got the door open before I was sick again. Sherlock held on to me and rubbed my back. Once I was done being sick again, I closed the carriage door, and we took off again towards home.

"Looks like that flu hasn't let up yet." I spoke up. Sherlock just half nodded and handed me a handkerchief. He got out of the carriage and helped me out. He handed the file to the driver.

"Can you please run this to the office and give this to Miss Holmes please. Tell her I needed to be at home." Sherlock said and he nodded. Sherlock helped me inside and I went to the kitchen to make some tea, but Sherlock steered me to the bedroom.

"Sherlock..." I said and he shook his head. He helped me undress and get into my nightgown. Once I was changed, he laid me down in bed and covered me up. I smiled at him weakly as he crouched beside me.

"I'm going to make you some tea. You lay here and worry about nothing but getting better." Sherlock said and kissed my forehead.

"I love you." I said and he smiled, placing a hand on my cheek.

"I love you more than life itself. Everyone was wrong you know. We belong together and always will, you will always be safe with me, as safe as we can be." Sherlock said and I nodded.

"I know Sherlock. What she said holds no merit to me." I said drifting off to sleep. Sherlock sighed. He sat on the floor beside the bed for a minute just looked at me.

"I need to find this bitch..." Sherlock whispered, got up and walked to the kitchen to make the tea like he promised. Also, while making tea his mind was devising a plan to catch Irene and put this all to rest. 

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