"Dad?" I looked up from my half-marked pile of papers when Nathaniel came into the study on Friday afternoon.
"What's up?"
"Do I have to go?" I sighed and put my pen down.
Since the divorce, Ben had moved in with him and only weeks later announced their engagement. This weekend was the wedding and Ben had insisted that Nathaniel and Alexis spend the weekend with him. I hadn't been particularly enthusiastic about the proposition but there was nothing I could do.
"I'm sorry, Nathaniel. But Ben's still your dad. I know you don't particularly like him anymore but it won't hurt you or Alexis to be nice and attend his wedding."
"But..."
"Nathaniel, there's nothing I can do. I already told Ben he could come and get you. He'll be here any minute now. Just be nice. It's only a few days."
"I don't want to be there, dad. I don't want to watch him marry some other guy."
"I know. It hurts me too. But it's what he wants. And he wants his kids to be there to watch." Nathaniel still pouted but he didn't argue any further. Instead, he just stood and watched me for a moment. "Was there something else?"
"How do you feel about all this?"
"Honestly? I don't know. It hurts; obviously. That he so easily moved on from this while I'm left here picking up the tatters of my life," Every day it seemed like I'd find something that had connected my life to Ben's and I had to change, ignore, or avoid it. "But I'll be okay."
"You sure?"
"I'm sure, Nathaniel. I've still got you two." I smiled at him and got up, heading over to hug him.
"I love you, dad."
"I love you too, Nathaniel. Now go and make sure you're all packed." He nodded and hurried to his room. I was left alone, suddenly feeling not so sure that I was okay.
When we'd received the wedding invitation in the mail, I'd cried. Of course, I had. But I'd quickly realised there was no use crying over it. I had to just forget about it and go on living my life. Since then, I'd been okay with the whole thing but now that Nathaniel had reminded me it was actually happening, I suddenly felt a lot less secure.
I was in the process of trying to clear my mind when the doorbell rang. Nathaniel and Alexis were still in their rooms so I hurried to the door, pulling it open to find Ben stood on the porch.
"Charlie. Hi."
"Hey." I stepped to the side. "Come in."
"Thanks." He smiled awkwardly at me and stood just inside the door to wait.
"So," I chewed on my lip for a second, trying to avoid looking him in the eye as much as possible. "Uh, I guess I should say congratulations."
"Yeah, um, thanks." We fell into an awkward silence for a moment before he reached out to touch my shoulder. "Charlie..."
"What?"
"I-are you okay with this?"
"Why wouldn't I be? We're not married anymore."
"I know. But I know that, for you, this all happened so quickly. I wouldn't blame you for being upset about this."
"Well, I'm not. Clearly, this is something you want so I'm happy for you." Nathaniel appeared in the hallway then, a forced smile on his face.
"Hi, Ben."
"Hey, Nathaniel. Where's your sister?"
"She's coming." Nathaniel looked at me, stepping close to hug me. "Bye, dad. I'll message you when I can."
"Okay. Just remember to have fun."
"Hi, Lexi." Before Nathaniel could speak again, Alexis appeared and Ben greeted her.
"It's just 'Alexis' now." She informed him, a little coldly. Ben was taken aback and glanced at me. I shook my head and bent down to talk to her.
"Sweetheart, don't be like that. Remember this is supposed to be a fun weekend. Be nice and I'll see you on Monday, okay?"
"Okay. Bye daddy. Don't be too bored without us." I laughed a little and ruffled her hair.
"I'll try. Have fun this weekend, guys." I kissed both my kids, waving as they headed across the lawn to where Ben's car was idling with him sat in the passenger seat. I fought the urge to cry and looked back to Ben who was still watching me carefully.
"I'll make sure they get yo school on time on Monday morning, promise." He told me. I nodded silently. "I'm sorry, Charlie."
"Don't. You don't get to worry about my feelings anymore. You gave up that right a long time ago."
"Okay."
"Have fun."
"I will. See you next time." With that, he turned and walked away. I shut the door and sighed.
"Damn it, Ben." I whispered to myself. I hated that he could still make me feel like this. That he could still make me feel anything.
Shaking it off, I headed back to the study and turned on my laptop to check my social media. The first thing that popped up on Facebook was a picture Nick had posted of him and his wife and daughter at some café in New York where they were sharing a plate of pancakes. They looked so happy as Nick looked adoringly at his daughter and Imogen stared lovingly at him. I smiled a little before adding a comment to the already huge list underneath.
CharlieSpring: Glad to see you're having fun. Can't wait to see more pictures when you get back :)
For a while I just scrolled through my page, liking the photos that Nick posted and making comments on some of them. There were posts from other friends as well that I obligingly liked but I was specifically looking out for Nick's posts. I don't know why I missed him so much. Maybe because he'd been so supportive for me through the divorce and now, he was a thousand miles away while I was left here having to send my kids to the wedding of my ex-husband and his new guy. Yeah, that's probably why. It has to be.
