~~~Superstes~~~UNDERGOING MAJOR EDITING

Firstborn son.

I hadn't thought about yelling at him like this, not ever. But I wasn't blind to Lo'ak's darkened face after I was rewarded for doing something heroic, I wasn't ignoring the fact that he was jealous of me. He didn't need to be, though. If Dad would just open his eyes and see his son, then he'd understand. If he'd understand that we, both his sons, are trying our best. 

I pressed my finger to his chest. "I don't know where your head is, but you better get it back."

After a long moment, he said,

"You're right."

Another minute of silence passed. I almost laughed. 

"What?" 

He moved my hand from his sternum. "I do need to shape up. I'm sorry." He began to look at the enormous ikran we were riding. "What...what did you do?" 

"I'm not sure." 

He eyed me. "You're still angry. Go on, say it." 

"I'm not--well, I am, but--I just want to go home. I think I'm broken." 

Dad touched his injured shoulder. He was keeping it immobile, that was the only indication of him being in pain. "I think I'm broken."

"You don't say." 

Maybe if I were to tell him about Sephora claiming she was my friend this atmosphere of tension would vaporize. Although, I felt that was my business. 

We continued to fly in complete silence. It felt as if I was the angry father, and dad the lectured kid. I was eager to get him home, healed, and I myself was itching to make sure the rest of my family was okay. What I really wanted was to pass out on the ground and sleep for two decades, but I knew the temporary camp was awaiting me with more tiring tasks and jobs. 

I would have to wait. 

Finally, when we came into view of the camp, people screamed, causing their families to wake up and scramble away from this ikran's mighty, wide wings. She screeched as she landed at the camp's glade, and Mo'at was the first to speak.

Astonished, she looked at the beast with wide eyes. "Oh, great eywa." she uttered. "What tis this?" 

I sat on the animal's back for a while before I realized they were expecting an answer. The entire clan was looking at me in fear and wonder, which made me feel small. I felt my hands start to sweat. When I looked back at Dad for help, he was only smirking in a downcast way. 

Then it all became real. 

There was a definite reason this ikran was bigger than her cousins, why she had the resemblance of Toruk. I had seen the great beast only once when he tried to attack me at the age of eight. 

Slowly, I felt the panic rising in my throat. I didn't want this--I didn't want to become another Toruk Makto. I was too young, too unprepared, utterly unready. How is Lo'ak going to feel? He'll think he's just more of a failure. I found my brother standing beside Ma, who had an unreadable expression. Lo'ak just had a slight opening in his mouth as he stared. Kiri and Tuk were crouching near them, having been shocked into stopping their previous tasks. 

No. Nope. I wasn't doing this today. Not ever. I leaned back to Dad and whispered, "Help me out, Dad. I don't want this. I don't want your place." 

He raised his eyebrows and climbed off the new Toruk, and quite stiffly he made his way to Ma and swiftly kissed her on the lips. She looked him up and down; placed her hands on his shoulders, gasped softly. "Oh, Jake." She breathed. "I do not know what to do with you all." 

My cheeks burned when Dad turned around and stuck his thumb in the air. Is he serious? I wanted to disappear, especially when I saw Sephora among the crowd, her arms crossed from either the rain or the cold. I was really just sitting here on a Toruk in the rain, in front of the whole Omatikaya tribe, after just bringing my dad back from being pinned to a tree.