Author's Note - "Redemption"

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September 23, 2023

Just two days after I wrote that previous Author's Note, I ruined everything.

As a final trip down memory lane before my moving forward, I thought it was a good idea to post and reminisce on the World Away From Everything that was both the apex of us at the time and the catalyst for our downfall. Doing so brought Lea even more pain than before, and I literally couldn't bear to live with the pain I caused her, so I attempted to take my own life. Obviously, and fortunately, it failed.

That Crisis changed everything. I stopped writing, or even planning. I stopped creating, stopped thriving, and everything got upended. In the weeks following the Crisis, there was only one word my brain could comprehend, and subsequently drill into my head: "redemption." The concept of living despite the pain you know you have and do cause others, especially your closest loved ones, in a constant and ever-evolving attempt to put more good out into the world than the bad you know you cause. Both the thought and the movie that spurred it, "Mad Max: Fury Road," suddenly weren't just on my mind- they also became the central emotional catalysts for my continued existence.

As of this writing, Lea has me blocked on everything. I don't blame her.

As of this writing, the almost-month-long search for the exact color and design of Max's paracord bracelet from Fury Road, due to it being a sort of talisman and representation of my goal for some kind of redemption, has culminated in it arriving today, and I'm currently wearing it as I type this.

As of this writing, I am also writing "The Fantasy 5" series over on @WhiteAlpha98 (who is also the reason I'm still alive) and it is there I'm able to metatextually explore and process redemption. For the Narnia-Verse, though- which I will continue on as well- I aim to continue to explore what I always have: my growth, my worth, my hope, and now- my redemption.

Don't just live for a better day. Live for a better you.

-David

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The Suicide & Crisis Lifeline can be accessed in the United States by dialing 988.

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