Chapter 1

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the feeling of being free is all i really want, to get out of that suffocating air surrounding me. the feeling of being in control and do everything i desire is what i want.

but I can't get that. i know I'll never get out of this nightmare. this was once a dream, a little girl's dream who she taught will make her feel complete, but she's wrong.

i wanted this, or so i thought. my thoughts got interrupted by a girl with an Aussie accent.

"jen, you only have a few minutes left to rest and please finish off your make up, we only need a few more shots then we're done"

the tall, blonde, slim woman sighed loudly after scolding me "chaeyoung, can't we just continue this tomorrow? or never? "

i smiled sarcastically just to pissed her off.
" oh fuck off. just hurry up for fuck's sake and for everyone's sake, I don't want your mom shouting at everyone again" she told me after closing the door of my portable tent.

She's chaeyoung, but to everyone she's rosè, she's my personal assistant, she's always with me 24/7.

to be honest I'm not that comfortable to be followed around but she grew on me.

after letting my make up artist finished the art of work she's doing on my face, i stand up, stood up tall and confidently walk my way to our set. in this industry, confidence is your best friend.

"all right, let's get this over with" the photographer shout loudly enough for his team to hear

click. click. click. after a few clickes they decided to end the shoot

I don't know why do they need to put that much effort when we're endorsing and promoting a lipstick? i mean, a selfie is enough. right?

after an hour, chaeyoung's already done packing my bags and things, t'was about 3-4 bags but i have my driver to carry those for me. I'm not that mean,i can't let rosè carry all those bags.

"thanks you mr. park" I heard chae thanking my driver, she's a nice person but overall a bitch.

we sat in the back seat and as soon as the car moved she told me something horrible " oh and by the way, your mom told me that your soon to be husband will be staying for the night at your home" even her is disgusted by her own choice of words

" you know damn well that i don't like him right?" she nodded "I'm pretty sure I'm aware" she furrowed her eyebrows and waiting for my answer

" then stop being an asshole" she just laugh her ass off while i dozed off, head leaning to the window.

"hey, wake up jen" i heard chae waking me up and I'm greeted by her face and behind her is familiar figure leaning towards me and was about to greet me with a kiss but i chose to open the door at my side and walk my way towards this called home

"my dear, where's han? he told me he'll help you get out of your car" yeah um no. i have this thing called feet and arms.

"yeah, he's just talking with chaeyoung" obviously a lie.

"is that so? well go on and change then, we'll have a dinner with han" wow, geez. not even a how are you? are you feeling alright? but I'm already used to it.

so i stomped my way up to my room. i like my room because me and dad was the one who decorated this, it's not that big but it's not the small either.

there's a king size bed at the middle pushed all the way to the wall, a study table at the left and a small table at the right. then there's my favorite part. at the top of the small table in my right there's this hand made circle outlined with stars and different planets, you'll put a bulb of your choice and let the magic happen. it'll create a few planets and stars but the moon is my favorite, my father built it for me. for my 7th birthday, i miss him. very much

"jennie, come down. dinner's ready" great.

"coming, mom" i look at my reflection in the mirror one last time, i just wore a black dress. it's just a casual dress, like the dress you'll wear to church or at a cafè

i walk my way down and go to our dining area and was pleased by the food that's being served, without hesitation i sit at the farthest section of the table ignoring my mom's judging eyes and the guy who love me. i bet he just want to get into my pants to be honest.

"jennie, come closer. i have a proposition" i look at my mom and I'm trying my best not to shout fuck

"yeah?" as i changed my sit more closer to them. "i know you want to leave the modelling industry, the showbiz, media and all. and it's time that I'll let you have your freedom at last" am i dreaming? so God is real?!

"really? thank you very muc-" but the once bells and whistle was cut off by an eerie sound, the words i never actually wanted to hear.

"but marry me" han looked at me with such despair, oh fuck no.

"oh fuck no" i stand up not feeling hungry anymore.

"don't speak up to him like that, you'll marry him and there's nothing you can do about it." i kept walking and my mom keeps following me leaving our guest behind the dining room.

"he helped us, jennie. this house almost got stolen from us because of our debt but he, his the one who helped us" now this made me furious

"what do you mean we? it's your debt mom! from your gambling! now you're gonna pay me just cause you need to return the favor? I'm leaving"

and without looking back, i left the house with a phone and a 250$ in my pocket. fuck me, i need to take breather. i need a one week off. i saw a taxi cab nearby, it looks like they're waiting for a passenger so i bring myself to the back seat and sat comfortably

" take me to the farthest bar, I'll pay" not really paying attention to the driver until they spoked.

" I'm actually not taking any passenger ma'am, I'm just waiting for my beef noodle soup" she turned around not really looking at me but looking beside me, outside the window there's a small restaurant with noodles as it's name.

great, embarrassed myself twice now. "is that so? after your noodles is done can you still drive me to like a bar near your last stop? I'll pay twice" i mean i talk like i have more than 250$ in my left pocket.

she look at me and her doe eyes got bigger and she keeps blinking as if making sure that I'm a real person.  "you.. you're, you're jennie kim!"

her eyes bloomed, she have this black hair, she have this cute bangs and her pointed nose, a full lips. in short she looks like she model too.

"uh yeah, not to be rude but are you now taking my offer? or no? cause I need an answer" she stared at me and back to her phone then she look at me again.

"sure, let's do it." she shrugged and a woman knock on her window and gave her the noodle soup she's been waiting for. after making sure the to go food is place nicely at the passenger seat she started driving and look at me using the mirror above her

"by the way, I'm lisa"

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yes, wrote a new book and it's about jenlisa. yes, i unpublished all my books. hope y'all are invested w this lol

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