The Official Douche Bag Travel Guide of Chad Barrington

Travel Tip #8: Avoid Hostility

     "Chad!" Frankie Senior called out as he slapped his bud on the back. "Hey, where the hell is my kid?"

     "Are you serious?" Chad replied, looking back to him. "Do you think I'd desert your kid just to hit the bar?"

     "Well, I..." Frankie Senior said, trying to find the words.

     "He's been here fifteen minutes," the bartender spoke up, "This is his third..."

     "Not yet," Chad interrupted, "I'm actually hiding from a woman."

     "Yes, Sir." The bartender said, turning away.

     "Open your eyes man," Chad chide, pointing to the pool. "He's right there!"

     Frankie Senior turned around and there was his kid, in the crowded pool playing with some of the other kids.

     "I'm sorry, Chad." Frankie Senior said, realizing his mistake.

     "Don't fret about it," Chad said, letting it go. "We were at the beach a few minutes ago, but he prefers the pool. The atmosphere over there happened to be a little too rough for our liking."

     "I get that," Frankie Senior agreed, "It's a public place, so very crowded. Junior doesn't do crowds well."

     "I noticed that," Chad said, "That's why we came back here."

     "Where are you cooped up now?" Frankie Senior asked. "Doris and I couldn't find your new room."

     "I'm in the presidential suite," Chad replied, "It has two bedrooms, so I let Junior crash with me to give you guys some privacy. We tried to bring him back to your room last night, but you were making animals sounds."

     "Oh, sorry." Frankie Senior apologized again.

     "Don't be," Chad replied, "I'm sorry for not asking, but I honestly think I saved you guys tens of thousands of dollars in therapy. I have a bigger TV to, so it made for more fun watching movies."

     "Under PG-13?" his father asked.

     "Fuck no," Chad honestly answered, "Did you listen to your Dad when he told you do that when you were his age?"

     Frankie Senior paused for a moment and sighed. "No."

     "We watched the violent movies," Chad informed him, "No nudity or anything that would require you to have a certain talk with him, okay?"

     "Fair enough," Frankie Senior said, as he then noticed something out of the corner of his eye. "Who the hell pissed in her cornflakes?"

     "Excuse me," Chad asked, not realizing who he was referring to.

     "Chad!" Frankie Junior called from in the pool, "Seven o'clock!"

     Chad spun around, and it was just in time as the woman who beat up the other guy at the beach was running for him and was in the middle of another mighty swing that was aimed at Chad's head. Instead of backing away from the punch, Chad dropped to one knee, which lowered his head enough for the woman to completely miss him. From there Chad put the arm closest to his attacker between her legs and lifted her into the air. With her body resting on his shoulders, Chad scooped her up a move his old wrestling coach called the Fireman's carry. Chad proceeded to toss her off his shoulders, body slamming her into the water next to him. Most of the kids in the pool had already backed away when Chad picked her up, almost expecting him to toss her into the water. The move had caught the woman completely by surprise and she got back to her feet in the pool, looking up with a face of absolute surprise.