Guardian

IVII.

Krysta's birthday came and with it came sadness, not happiness because it was the anniversary of her mother's death. It would affect her on every birthday for the rest of her life. A whole year had passed. It felt strange to realize that that much time had actually passed. She thought about how much had changed in that year and felt such a sadness knowing she would not get to see her grandchild.

It didn't help that they never found the person that hit her, caused her death a year ago. It didn't seem fair or possible that someone still remained free of facing their guilt for her mom being gone. She resigned herself to the fact that they would never face what they'd done. It wouldn't change what she wanted to be changed anyway. It wouldn't bring her mother back.

Ian didn't like seeing her sad, especially this sad. It also hurt to see her so sad on her birthday.

"You know Krysta I know you're said but maybe if you think about your mom not being alone you might feel better. Think about her being with your grandpa and grandma, not alone."

"Really? Would she be with the?"

"I bet they were both there waiting for her when she went to heaven," he said softly. "She's not alone."

She seemed to perk up knowing her mom wasn't alone. She cheered up enough to agree to go for pizza.

"I'm glad you told me mom's not alone. It makes me feel better."

"I'm glad. She's okay Krysta really. She would want you to be okay too. I know you really miss her and that's okay but you'll see her again someday," he said softly.

She nodded and half smiled, even sad she was getting hungry as they drove to the pizza place. They enjoyed their favorite pizza and talked about cheerful things. Angel was actively making sure not to be ignored, perhaps kicking birthday wishes.

After lunch they stopped and bought some roses. Ian went into the store for them while Krysta waited in the car. Krysta wanted to visit the crypt where her mom's ashes were and leave the roses. Ian wasn't convinced that it was a good idea but she wanted to go and deep down he felt she needed to go.

She touched her fingers to the sealed place that held her mom's ashes. It was cold to the touch. A small name plate was the only thing that identified it as her mother's place.

"I love you mom. I miss you," she whispered. She wanted to say so much but no more words came, only tears. She placed the flowers and told Ian she was ready to go. The tears flowed more freely now as they returned to the car.

"You don't have to be here to talk to her you know. Even at home she will hear you," she said, touching her hand.

"Are you sure?"

"It's what I believe," he whispered.

As they drove away, a car passed them, headed towards the place they had just left. Krysta looked over at Ian. She recognized the car.

"That was Sarah," she whispered.

"Well at least we missed her. Did coming help any?"

"I don't know. It seemed the right thing to do so I'm glad, but it didn't fix the loss and pain that I feel. Maybe I will keep talking to her on other days when it gets easier. Maybe a day will come when it will get better.

"It takes time, but I think someday it will."

Once home again Ian surprised her with a new vase overflowing with gardenias. The fragrance quickly filled the room with their aroma and memories. He also surprised her with a turquoise ring that he bought at the flea market.