Broken Lives On

Broken lives on 11

As I sat there with Lyssa and Ellie at the breakfast table, my mind seemed to wander off to some unknown place. Lost in my thoughts, I found myself completely oblivious to the conversation happening around me.

My head hung low, as I absentmindedly twirled my spoon in my cereal bowl, creating small whirlpools of milk. The murmur of voices and clinking of cutlery faded into the background as I delved deeper into my own world.

I could sense the concern in Ellie and Lyssa's eyes, but I couldn't bring myself to pay attention to them or even respond to their words. My mind was consumed by something, but I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was.

Suddenly, Lyssa's voice cut through the haze of my thoughts, bringing me back to reality. "You're not even listening are you?" Lyssa said her voice mixed with both annoyance and worry.

Ellie cut in, with a concerned expression on her face. "Avery, Lyssa called you multiple times. Are you okay? You seem so distant," she complained, her voice filled with worry.

I blinked, trying to gather my thoughts and piece together what she was saying. What was wrong with me? Why was I so disconnected from the present moment?

Unable to find any answer to their questions, I drummed my fingers on the table, wrestling with my thoughts. I decided to tell a white lie. I replied, my voice lacking conviction, "Oh, I was just lost in my thoughts about the company picnic."

It was a feeble attempt to cover up the truth, to reassure her that everything was alright.

They exchanged gazes then looked back at me. "Okay" Ellie said with uncertainty in her voice.

"Its just a picnic Ave, not a wedding" Lyssa said reassuringly and I smiled half heartedly.

But deep inside, I knew that my mind was elsewhere. It was as if an invisible thread tugged at my thoughts, pulling me away from reality. I yearned to share my emotions, my worries, and fears with someone, but I couldn't even understand them myself.

I watched as Lyssa and Ellie continued their lively conversation, each word and gesture passing by me like a distant echo. They laughed, they debated, they shared stories, but I couldn't grasp the essence of what they were saying.

My mind remained trapped in its own turmoil, locked in a realm of confusion and uncertainty.

I wanted to burst forth and pour out my heart, to let them in on my hidden turmoil. But the words would not come, and my silence persisted. It was as if my thoughts had become a maze, entangling my every emotion and action. And so, I remained a passive observer, a mere passenger in my own mind.

As the breakfast table slowly emptied, the remnants of my uneaten cereal in front of me, I longed for a moment of clarity, for a respite from the storm brewing inside me. But it seemed elusive, slipping through my fingers like sand.

I stood up from the table and walked over to the sink. I threw out the uneaten cereal and I grabbed a sponge.

As I stood at the kitchen sink, staring blankly at the dirty bowl in my hands, once again my mind wandered off into the depths of my thoughts. The warm water cascaded over my fingers, but my mind was far away.

Suddenly, a gentle grip on my wrist snapped me back to reality. I turned my head to find Lyssa, looking at me with concern in her eyes. Her touch brought me crashing back into the present moment, reminding me of the bowl I was absently washing.

"Uh" I said finally noticing that the bowl was already clean. I looked up at Lyssa offering her a slight smile.

"Avery...." she fell silent as she just looked at me scanning my face.