nothing near clarity

chapter 56

I started tracing my fingers on his arm, and I smiled when I traced his tattoo, but I was shocked when he took my hand and started kissing my fingers one by one.

"One day, your birthday will be tattooed here too," ruto whispered as he puts my fingers back on his tattoo. His tattoos were all the birthdays of his family. I looked away when he said those words, because it only meant one thing: ruto sees me in his future too.

But I sometimes wonder how can two 19 year olds know what their future would be. Because the world has always been changing every single day, and I really am scared of what's yet to come, but I know for a fact that I'll be doing my best to make sure this guy here in front of me will stay in my life.

"I love you, ruto." I whispered, fighting the urge to tear up in front of him, but I was shocked when he was the one who started crying.

"Hey, don't cry! I'm gonna start crying too!" I yelled, but all he did was hug me tightly.

"I can't help it, darin. I just love you so much..." he whispered, before planting a kiss on the top of my head again.

I really wish we can just stay like this forever.

* * *

I was fighting the urge to throw up as we were finally in front of a huge crowd with their cameras flashing at us. I didn't even know how I was able to take all those flashes without blinking. I was just smiling and doing whatever the cameraman request, like doing some finger hearts, or like peace signs for them. It was finally the day of our debut showcase, and I'm so fucking nervous. I looked at Nari who was next to me, and she gave me a smile, as if assuring me that everything will be fine.

I watched Hiraya who was busy answering most of the questions as she was appointed as the group's leader. It was actually so iconic since she was the first ever leader in our company who's a foreigner. Oh well, she was the best suited for the position, I really have to fight for it since some of the higher ups didn't really like the idea of having a foreigner as the leader. But they can't do anything anymore when we proposed that Nari could be like a vice leader to help out Hiraya when things are hard.

"Are you not pressured that all of you are considered a bit old for the industry?" one reporter asked, and I badly wanted to roll my eyes at him. How can he say we are a bit old when it should be the other way around? Lisa and Rosie sunbaenim were the same age with Eunkyung when they debuted back in 2016 but there was no issue with it.

"We don't feel pressured at all. I actually am glad that our company made sure that we are all adults in the debuting team, because I know that we will be able to handle things like this maturely." Hiraya eonnie answered confidently, and even gave her pretty smile at that annoying reporter. I can't believe debuting minors now is a common thing. I experienced a lot of hardships because I started out young, so I just wish that others wouldn't go through such a hard time because this industry really is hard for young people.

Our debut would be on August 5, 2023 and it all felt too real now. We're finally free from the infamous YG dungeon.

"I have a question for Stella Kim." One reported said, and I felt my members' eyes on me, and after Hiraya gave me a nod, I smiled at the reporter. But I was still able to see my members' glaring at the reporter. I fought the urge to giggle at their overprotectiveness.

"We heard a rumor that your brother is the famous actor Hyunjae Kim, is that true? And if it's true, what is your current relationship with him?" the reporter asked, and I almost let out a snort because of the question. Why do they even have to bring that guy up. I don't even talk to him for months now since we're both so busy.