nothing near clarity

chapter 37

hi, sorry it took me a while to post this chapter, took me days to finish this since i had a hard time thinking of possible scenes, and thats why im glad it's finally done! anw enjoy reading! <3

Chapter 37

"the green-eyed monster"

Admiration. If there was one thing that could describe how the other trainees would look at us that would be it. I gave them a smile and a wave, especially to the younger trainees since I know they'll go through so much if they ever stay in this company as a trainee.

You see, monthly evaluations in YG Entertainment were never easy. It was hell. Most of the trainees are forced to learn western songs because that's what we should be singing most of the time. We have to do everything on our own, and I like how our company makes sure that we get to be creative, but sometimes it's really hard, especially for the trainees who are also students, like me.

I remembered that I was assigned to choreograph our group performance, and I almost wasn't able to do it perfectly, good thing I still managed even though during that month was also my midterms in SOPA. So, one should never underestimate a trainee's life, because most people tend to romanticize it to make it look like it was easy, but it's not. It is actually far from that. Our life has never been easy once we entered this scene of becoming a trainee.

Many would ask, "then why did you continue even though it's hard?" Easy. We continued, because just like most people who go to college even though it's hard so that they could get a job in the future, we do this so that we can be the artists we want ourselves to be. It is our dream, and no matter how hard it is to reach for them, no matter how hard the process was, I'm willing to repeat all of them just so I'll be able to debut and make my mum who's now in heaven proud.

"They are the official lineup for our new girl group. They will perform first and after, all of you will perform and they will evaluate you." Mr. Yang said, and I felt how my heart was beating so fast, but it was not because I was nervous, it was because I was excited. I'm excited to let them see our potential and the reason why we were all chosen to be the next girls who'll debut in YG entertainment.

We greeted the other trainees again, and I saw some who are older than me from team b rolling their eyes, but I didn't mind. I know what they feel. They were treated like the substitutes and now that we're already here— the final lineup— it feels as if they don't have much purpose here in this company anymore.

I've been there. I was like them when it was announced that Blackpink Sunbaenim will be the ones debuting. And I understand why the other girls were not chosen, it was because the members of Blackpink just have this unique charm with them that it's just so perfect when it's them four.

But it's still sad how they know they have to leave the company, because other than the fact that the next lineup would be the younger trainees, it also means that they did not pass the last evaluation, making them not being in the final lineup.

I trained with a lot of girls who are no longer here, because they were already sent home, but one of them that I will forever remember will be Minjee. She was like the older sister I never had, and from what I heard, she'll be debuting solo since the ex boyfriend of the one who bullied me not long ago said that he wouldn't sue them anymore. I was glad of the news, but still a bit heartbroken over the fact that we're not debuting together.

I was back to reality when my members told me that we have to get ready now. I was excited, because this would be the first time that we'll be able to perform as a group in front of other people aside from our vocal and dance instructor. It's an honor to perform in front of the people who helped us to be where we are right now.