K.

Chapter 24- Tuscany Troubles

I could not even look at him after what happened last night. I was angry, jealous in a way I had never been before and most of all, hurt. I felt like such a fool for ever liking him and for having even a glimmer of hope about him reciprocating the same feelings for me. I mean, why would he? He could have anyone he wanted while I was just always sort of there, stupidly in love with him, waiting around for him like an idiot.

Had this been any other day, I'd have avoided Alex. Because I knew that being around him with all the complicated emotions I was feeling would bring about nothing but destruction. The more I'd be around him, the more hurt I'd feel and the more hurt I'd feel, the more it'd lead to arguments and misunderstandings. I was mad at him at the moment, no doubt about that. But I still cared about him. I still cared about us and the impact of things on our friendship in the longterm. I absolutely did not want to lose him over this. So, avoiding him for a while was going to be the best option altogether. Only that unfortunately, on a day like today, there was no other way around it. I had to face him, even if it stirred up more anger, more hurt. I had to risk it all and just do it for one person: Nick. It was going to be the biggest night of his life and I couldn't let my feelings towards Alex ruin it for him.

Although I couldn't stay away from him completely, I figured I could still do it in moderation. If I had to spend time with Alex, I thought it'd be best kept at the minimum. So, that's what I did. I only spoke to him when I absolutely needed to and tried to be as convincingly normal around him as possible.

First up was the journey. I had to spend two hours on the train with him. They went by painfully slow, but like all things, they did pass. Not like there was any cause for a big celebration upon reaching Tuscany because it was only going to get worse from here. Lots of pretending to be fine around everyone we knew, acting like I was not hurting, and the obvious: having to be with Alex for the rest of the day. But hey, atleast one thing was out of the way.

We then took another cab from the train station to our new hotel. Again, neither of us spoke a word to each other on our way but the hotel wasn't afar so we didn't have to deal with it for too long.

"Room number 256. Enjoy your stay." The receptionist welcomed us warmly and handed over the keycard to Alex.

"Thank you, hers?" Alex asked, referring the card to my room.

"You booked only one room Mr Turner." The receptionist replied.

"No, we booked two separate rooms." He corrected as we looked at the receptionist in confusion.

"But the reservation is for one couple..."

"Oh no, we're not... together, Miss." Alex quickly corrected. I hated how immediate that was.

"I'm really sorry, but we have both your names under one reservation."

"Are you sure about it? Could you please check once again?" I stepped in and requested.

She looked through her screen and apologetically nodded no.

"Okay well, it's fine. Someone must've made a mistake. Can we make a reservation for another room right now?" Alex asked.

"No Sir, I'm afraid not. The hotel is tightly packed and this is the only room available currently. The next checkout will be at 10 am tomorrow. If you're interested, you can pre book that one." She said as she checked her computer once again.

"No, sorry we'll be leaving by around that time tomorrow. Are there any other rooms? It's okay if it's expensive, money's not a problem."

"Other than the one you have a reservation for, we don't. I'm really sorry."

"What do you wanna do?" He turned to me.

"It's not like we have any other option." I shrugged.

"We can give you a separate bed without any extra costs, if you're interested." The receptionist suggested.

"Yes, please. Would totally appreciate that." I agreed. This was my next best option.

"Okay, great. Enjoy your stay!"

The walk to the room was awkward, like every other interaction we had had today. We were walking in dead silence behind the hotel staff as he escorted us to our room. I thought that was bad enough but then we entered our room.

Flowers and aroma candles everywhere. The bedding was in a sultry shade of red and there was a bottle of wine on the night stand. It was basically a honeymoon suite. It was clear to both of us who was behind this supposed "mishap" although we did not directly discuss it. Nick. He had been teasing us for quite some time and since he booked the rooms, this had to be his doing.

"Look, is everything okay?" Alex asked after we overcame our initial shock of what he had just seen.

"Yeah, I don't mind this. It's fine."

"It's not about the room Kristen..."
I really wished he hadn't said my name like that.

"You've just been..."
"I don't know, I want to say acting differently?" He said reluctantly.

"If there's something that's bothering you, you can tell me."

I threw myself on the bed and replied "It's not anything like that. I'm just really tired."

"If this is about last night..." He was shut off before he could finish what he wanted to say.

"Jesus Alex, your sex life doesn't concern me. I'm really just tired."

He stood there and nodded, not expecting the kind of response I had just given him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," I was immediately overcome with regret.

"No it's fine."

"I just wanted to get things out of the way, wanted to make sure that what you saw last night didn't change the way you looked at me." He said in a contrite tone.

I couldnt tell what he meant by that, if he was confirming that there was something between us. But it didn't matter what he meant anyway because I went ahead and said something stupid out of frustration.

"Why would that change the way I look at you? I mean, this is what we both agreed to." I said, matter of factly.

I could see it in his face, what me saying that did to him. I had just deemed everything that had happened between us for the past couple of days completely meaningless by uttering those two sentences. It wasn't intentional, it just happened in the heat of the monent and I felt a little guilty about it although he had done far worse last night.

"I don't know, I just didn't want to..."  He paused and I looked at him eagerly.

"Yeah nevermind. You take rest." He ended the conversation and then abruptly left for the balcony to have a smoke.

Every conversation, every interaction with him left me more confused. I didn't know what he meant, I never had any idea what he meant. I was so tired of him speaking in riddles and me looking for meanings and signs in everything he said and did. I didn't know what to do else to do. I laid on the bed with my whys and whats until the exhaustion was kind enough to finally put me out of my misery.