K.

Chapter 17- Off to Italy

"It's okay, I've got it." Alex said, grabbing the bags from my hand as I got seated.

I watched his biceps flex as he grabbed the luggage, his shirt going up a little as he lifted the heavy bags and threw them in the cabin. God, something about that. This was either normal for everyone to find attractive or I was just strangely attracted to anything and everything he did, I couldn't tell anymore. Love had ruined my brain.

"Kristen..." He sat down next to me.
"How have you been? Like, genuinely,"

"I mean, after that night I never got the chance to see you face to face. And earlier today, there were people around so I couldn't really talk to you..." He placed his hand gently on my shoulder. 

Here he was, worried about my mental wellbeing while I was busy daydreaming about him.

"I've been okay. Thank you so much for being there for me that night. I wasn't expecting that anyone would understand."
I really did mean it when I said that. He made me feel safe and took care of me in a time I myself had no idea what was going on with me. I don't know what I would've done without him that night.

"Ofcourse. I know you. If I don't understand you, who will?" He smiled, his gaze softening.

You know me but yet, you don't understand that I love you. That's the irony.

Lust turned to love once again and I suddenly felt a bit sad. Knowing he'll never know how much I loved him, knowing that all of this was so fucking wasted.

"You're making me emotional now." I said with a faint smile. For once, I chose vulnerability over acting tough and it felt weirdly relieving.

"Honestly, never thought I'd admit this but it truly broke me to see you like that, that night at the party..." He admitted hesitantly.

"I didn't want you to feel guilty so I just never mentioned it but I was so worried Kristen, you have no idea." He looked at me, his eyes shining in a strange way.

It's like he was hell bent on making me cry tonight. Why did he have to love me so much, but not in the same way I loved him? Why did he have to put all this love into friendship when it could've been something more? Something so, so much more?

"I'm really sorry, Al," I almost whispered as I turned to face the window. I felt like if I had spoken a bit louder or looked into his eyes, I'd have ended up crying infront of him again.

"I didn't mean to make you feel bad about it... I don't know, I just felt like you should know that I care more than I show. 'Cause sometimes I may come off as a bit too relaxed. I'm sorry..."

He didn't have to mention that at all for me to know he cared. I knew he did. But little did I know he cared so much. It hurt to see how hurt he was over something that happened to me. It made me feel guilty for letting him see me that way, although I was sure he intended to do the opposite with his words.

"Anyway, did you get enough sleep last night? Did you eat anything before getting on the plane? Can I get you something to eat or-" I cut him off.

"Alex, I slept well. And yes, I did eat." I replied, finally looking at him.

"I don't want you to be worried about me. Trust me, I'm more than okay."
I promised.

I indeed was more than okay. I wasn't saying it just to calm him down. I mean, come on. I was on a flight with Alex to Italy for a trip. Well, work for him but trip for me. How could I not be okay? With Nick's engagement news to add to all of it, I was absolutely stoked. The only thing that upset me a little was the love I had for Alex, but it was okay. I was starting to slowly adapt to the curse it was to fall in love with your best friend.