K.

Chapter 20- When in Rome 2

Alex's POV

I wasn't okay with it. I absolutely wasn't. How could I be okay watching the woman I love dance with somebody else? I was far from being okay. And I knew deep down that I had no right to even feel this way. But I did and I had very little control over it. But what I did have control over was what I did. So I chose to let go. 

Matteo was ridiculously attractive. I might even say he made me insecure when he approached her. I had always considered myself to be confident but any self assurance I had dissipated into thin air now that it was about her. He was good looking and charming and it worried me that this night of innocent dancing would lead to something more between them. But I had to let it happen. I kept reminding myself that she was just my best friend, someone that I had no future with. If I can't have her, someone better than me should. It felt really counter intuitive to do what I did though. It felt like leaving the gas on on purpose and going on a long road trip. It felt just that wrong but I knew it was the right thing to do. I chose to be mature this time. The last time I got jealous, I acted like a teenager. I got drunk, I created a fight that ended up lasting a month. I didn't want that to happen again, ever. So I let go.

As I sat by myself at the bar not even having the option to down my pain with alcohol, I watched her from afar. I noticed she seemed a bit out of place at first, but as time passed it looked like she was slowly loosening up and starting to have a good time. I even caught her hysterically laughing at something he said at one point which sort of broke me. But I had to keep an eye on her, atleast for a while. She was with a complete stranger after all, I needed to make sure she was safe and comfortable. However once I felt fully sure she was in safe hands, I stopped checking on her. I didn't want to be all overprotective and make her feel like I was intruding on her. She was independent and the last thing I wanted to do was make her feel as though she was incapable of taking care of herself like I did the last time.

The first one hour I spent at the bar after Matteo wooed Kristen away was incredibly boring. I had no alcohol, no company and zero entertainment. Kristen did motion me a few times from across the room to dance with her but I refused. I was happy she thought of me but I felt like she just did it out of pity and kindness as I was alone. So I just sat there, doing absolutely nothing other than observe everything that was going on around me. That was a little entertaining for a while, I'll admit. Sharply dressed men and women getting drunk and embarrassing themselves, the bartender absolutely stressing out over the littlest things, bad dancing, shouting, yelling, all of it happening at once. Not that I hadn't been a part of this insanity before but it was really entertaining to just sit there and observe the absurdity of mankind when absolutely sloshed. It was quite the show.

However, I didn't have to do that for too long as I soon had company. Jamie texted me complaining that Matt had bailed on him half way through and had an early night. Classic Matt. He was always quite prudent, it wasn't a surprise. So, I invited Jamie over to the club I was at.

"Two Jägermeisters, please," Jamie told the bartender when he approached us.

"Two? I don't want you being all sloppy on the guitar tomorrow. Cut it down to one or just get a beer." I said, judging him for his recklessness.

"Two does nothing at all. Our show is at night anyway. It'll wear off." He said casually.

"I am aware that the show is at night but why take the risk?"

"Because you're not doing a good enough job at keeping me entertained." He rolled his eyes.

"And you're getting another beer. You look fucking miserable sitting here like this." He added. I couldn't say no after that insult he had just thrown at me.