All Of You// JJ Maybank

9. but i want to

I wake up in my bed, Cade kissing my neck. I push him away slightly and get up. Cade mumbles something but I leave the room anyways.

I wash my face of old make up and regret, trying to block out the dream I had. There's a small knock on the door frame. Jjs face looks sorry. "How does it feel?" "Like I got punched in the face" I look at my brushed cheek in the mirror.

I follow him to the living room where John b sits. "You need to tell me what happened right now"

"rafe had made a comment to me alittle after we had gotten there, it wasn't anything bad. It was a joke. Cade told rafe to leave and he did but when Cade was in the bathroom rafe came back. Cade got mad. They started pushing each other and eventually rafe swung. Cade ducked and rafe ended up hitting me. It was an accident"

"Not even 8 hours in town and he's already picking fights? Who is this guy" John b looked concerned. "Hes nice I swear, just... protective"

"Rafe had to have been saying something that upset him though" jj shook his head. "Just jokes, and not weird ones either. They were good, light hearted jokes. Although rafe told Cade I was a very pretty girl and then moved some hair out of my face" yeah... I see it now

"Yeah that would have done it for me" jj nodded. "God rafe is an idiot" John b rolled his eyes. "Rafe is a friend" I say flatly. John b looks shocked. "Well no one else in this town has been very nice to me" I shoot jj a sympathetic glance.

No one says anything. Yeah. "I have shit to do today" i go back to my room to get dressed. "Hey beautiful. What are we doing today?" Cade is sitting on

"I have a really busy day today, i figured you'd go home early today?" "You wanted me to drive an hour to spend the night?" "You weren't expecting to stay all week were you? I can't really work woth you here" "I can't work with out you. We're partners"

"I know, but I trust your judgment. You don't need me to hold your hand through it all" I start to change. "I know" he huffs. "It seems like ever since you've come home you want nothing to do with me" he rubs his face.

He's not wrong. "I've just been really busy, and overwhelmed" "so let me help you relax" "I don't have time to relax. I leave Friday and I still have so much shit to do" "I though you were leaving Wednesday?" "Something came up" I start to pack my purse.

"Of course" he lays back down. "I said I wanted to be here for a month. You wouldn't allow that. At least give me the two weeks I'm asking for." I drop my purse. "Maybe i just miss my wife" "Fiance" "whats the problem with me saying wife? it's like you dont wanna marry me" he snaps. I don't.

I take a deep breath. The thought of marrying your first boyfriend might sound like true love to some but it's my nightmare. Cade is boring, predictable, and rude to service workers. But he's financially stable, he's got a house, and the starting over is scary.

"Of course I wanna marry you" I sigh. "I just want to enjoy the little steps before it's official" I lie. "Im sorry- of course. I'm sorry I know you've never given me a reason to doubt that. I was over thinking" Cade sits up.

"Come here" I holds his arms open I walk over and let myself melt into him. How am I supposed to start all over with some one else? Everything Is so easy with Cade, if I let it be.

"I need to go pick up my car and see how much I owe Mr. Cameron" "wait- the guy from the bar?" "No, his dad. It's sorta a long story" "Can I give you a ride?" He kisses my cheek. "As long as that's all it is. I really don't want another fight" I sigh

"Promise. Then I'll go home and get the place all nice for when you get back" "I love you" "I love you more" he kisses my neck. I don't fight him on the comment.

The drive to the Cameron house is quiet. Cade kisses me a few times before letting me out of the car. "Call if you need anything. I'll turn around" "drive safe. I love you" I kiss him one last time before closing the door.

As Cade pulls out of the drive way I make a mental note not to call him back. His being here just made things worse.

I knock on the front door and wait. Soon I'm greeted by Sarah. "Oh John b isn't here- what happened to your eye" "I'm not here for him and it was your brother"

"Damn. Is that who your here for?" I nod. Technically no but I've been ignoring his texts all night. "I think he's still sleeping but it's fine" Sarah motions me to follow her.

We make it to his room. The doors closed. "He wakes up really easily. I'll be down the hall if you need anything" she smiles and dissappears into her room.

I knock, a groan comes from the other side of the door but nothing more. I Crack the door open, it's pitch black. "Rafe" I say softly as I walk in slowly. I've never been in his room and it's to dark to see anything.

I get a small "hmm?" "Rafe I came to tal-" I slip on what must be a tee-shirt and fall to the floor. Before I can register what happened, rafe is out of bed helping me up.

"Are you okay?" "Yeah- uh I'm fine" I say slowly as i stand "What do you need" his hand stays on my arm.

"I figured we should talk, Sarah told me to wake you up, I'm sorry" "will you turn the light on so I can put a shirt on" he yawns. "Yeah sure" I step slowly to the door and feel around the wall.

I really fucked your eye huh" he cringes pnce the light is on. "Is this you apologizing?" I can't help but smile. "I am sorry for hitting you" "it's oka-" "but I'm more sorry that your fiance is a dick. How can you stand him?" "Hes okay when it's just us" I say quietly, slightly embarrassed.

Rafe shakes his head. "You should be with someone who's treats you right all the time. That goes out of there way to make sure your safe" "is that supposed to be you?" I smile

"Yes, it is. I'm not going to lie about my feelings for you" he looks dead serious. I take a deep breath, reminding myself I'm engaged.

"I came to pay back your dad" I clear my throat. "I told you not to worry about that. My dad likes you" "I still don't get why-" "because I like you. And he thinks you make me a better person"

"Well I'm glad I could help but I'm engaged" "but what if you wernt?" He steps closer, tucking a piece of hair out of my face. "Rafe" "tell me you don't have any feelings for me at all and I'll back off" he let's his hand rest on my cheek.

I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. Rafes lips curl into a smirk. I can feel his breath against my lips. "We shouldnt" I say under my breath. "I know... but I want to" his lips connect with mine softly. I keep telling myself to push him away but my body is betraying me. Instead my hand finds his shoulder.

"What the hell?" Our heads snap to the open door. John b stands in the hallway with Sarah. "Guys it's not-" I say quickly.

"It was nothing, an accident that won't happen again" I snap my head at rafe as if to send him a message. "What about cade?" Sarah asks confused. "Nothing. nothing has changed. Rafe just acted on a bad idea" I sigh. Rafe says nothing.

John b says nothing either, instead he stomps down the stairs where Sarah follows. "Shit. Shit shit shit shit" tears well in my eyes. I'm not a cheater. I'm not.

I never wanted to be one. "I didn't think we'd have an audience" rafe places a hand on my waist. "Rafe stop- I can't. I'm not a cheater" I remove his hand.

"Please don't hate me for this. Your not even happy with him" "that doesn't make it any better- I need to leave"
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