NYC is the rat king

45 0 1

by Emilygomse

by Emilygomse

NYC : *sees a rat*
NYC :: *lightbulb moment*

later

New York : NYC? You've been in the kitchen for half an hour.

NYC:: I can explain.

NYC: *points to the rat in a chef's hat*
NYC :Ratatouille.

-------
California: Dude-
Washington: No, no, hold up, rewind.
Washington: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me dude

-------
Savannah :Dad, can you sign something for school?

New York:, shaking his head: If I sign this, you're going to have to learn how to forge my signature. If you sign it from the start, you'll be able to sign whatever you want and they'll never know.

------
Philadelphia:Did you know there's a fruit that gives you an entire daily serving of potassium?

Albany:That's bananas.

Philadelphia:I know, I was shocked too.
----

Gov New York isn't answering my calls

Coco:I'll try

New York:: *answering after the first ring* Hello?
Colorado:Hey, did you get any of the calls?

New York :Whose calls?

Colorado :...

Colorado :You blocked Gov, didn't you?

New York:First thing I did when he got my number, why?

---

Albany: Hey, you wanna bang?
Philly:
Albany: I meant hang.
Philly:
Albany: Actually, no, I didn't.
Philly:
----
Albany: Philly tucking the sheets around Albany when they stir during the night.
------
Philly: Hey, Albany, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?
Albany: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.
Philly: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?
Albany: Can't really say I have.
Philly: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.
Albany: Sorry, Philly. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

------